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It would be so much easier to accept this if his twin would quit it with the spectral visits. But try explaining that to Kev. Stubborn jerk.
Light pried between his gummy eyelids. He ventured a slit-eyed peek. Unfamiliar room. His phone was on the bedside table. He grabbed it. 12:47, it said. Data crunched in his aching brain. Reality settled down, heavy and cold.
Another failure. His annual effort to erase August the eighteenth off the calendar hadn’t worked yet. Pinheaded optimist that he was, though, he just kept right on trying. The time ticked over to 12:48. Eleven hours and twelve minutes of this goddamn day to get through.
He started to roll over, stopping as his leg encountered a silky thigh. The angle of that thigh to that ass wasn’t anatomically possible.
He struggled to focus his eyes. Oh. Yeah. There was more than one pair of female legs in the bed. The stripes of light slanting through the blinds made it tough to sort out the tangle of slender limbs.
Two girls lay crosswise to each other. A blonde and a brunette. Nice butt cheeks, all four of them. Round and smooth as duck eggs. The brunette lay with her face hidden by a heavy fall of dark hair. The blonde’s head was under the pillow, curly wisps poking out.
He stroked the butt cheeks closest to him and scanned the room for evidence that he had engaged in protected sex. One, two, three…huh, a fourth condom wrapper, on the bedside table. It would seem he had done his sacred manly duty by the sleeping cuties. That was good.
And it was starting to come back to him, in disconnected chunks. Stacey. The blonde was Stacey. The brunette was Kendra.
He extricated himself carefully from the bed. He didn’t want the babes to wake up on him, no matter how round and rosy their collective butt cheeks were. He wasn’t up to being sweet and charming today.
He stared at them, trying to reconstruct the impulse that had drawn him to them last night. Probably the brunette. With those kissable dimples in the small of her back, he could almost imagine she was Liv.
Not that he’d ever seen Liv’s naked ass. He’d just worshipped her from afar, like the lofty virgin goddess that she was. Although he’d worshipped her pretty thoroughly with his fingers once.
His dick jumped up like a puppy whenever he thought of that warm summer night when he’d cornered her in the historical collection room, and put his hand up her skirt. He remembered her pussy, tender and snug around his fingers. The way her soft thighs squeezed his hand. The choked, helpless sounds she made when she came.
The smell of old books made him hard to this day.
That sashay down memory lane had rendered him stone hard, hangover and all. He massaged his turgid cock. Eyed the brunette’s peachy ass. Half tempted to suit up with latex, close his eyes, and…
Christ, no. He shook away the bad idea, and froze, motionless, as a punishing bolt of pain reverberated through his head like one of those big Chinese gongs.Ouch.Fifteen years, and still hung up on that chick.
It would be funny, if it weren’t so fucking pathetic.
Sean massaged his throbbing forehead and let the Liv tape play through his head; he’d done her a favor, dropping her before doing anything unforgivably stupid—like marrying her, the equivalent of lying down and offering to be her personal throw rug. He would have tied himself in knots trying to be a good boy, and ultimately failed. Torture, agony, humiliation, blah blah blah. He knew the drill so well, he bored himself.
But he still saw the look in her eyes when he told her to get lost. He saw it every night, at four AM and whatever girl’s bed he woke in. Always with that same sucking hole in his gut as he pondered the most spectacular fuck-up of his life. The one that defined him as a person.
He eyed the brunette’s tantalizing ass, and sighed. He must have screwed hundreds of girls in his effort to get that chick out of his system. Hadn’t worked so far, but hey. He was nothing if not persistent.
He felt betrayed by his own body. The amount of tequila he’d drunk last night should have guaranteed a longer blackout.
Maybe he should bash himself over the head with a bigger pharmaceutical nightstick. Hard drugs weren’t his scene, though. The desperation that clung to the people who dealt and used them was a big, flesh-crawling downer. He didn’t even like alcohol that much. It made him fuck up in embarrassing ways. Not that waking up behind bars or in the emergency room really mortified him all that much, but it upset the hell out of his brothers. Upright, respectable family men that they now were. Pillars of the community. Legally wed to their fine and lovely lady wives. Soon to spawn big families too.
Connor and Erin were well on their way. Only four months to D-Day. A baby, whoa. Uncle Sean. So cheerful and normal. As if his brothers hadn’t grown up in the same gonzo parallel universe that he had. Crazy Eamon’s wild boys.
Even worse was this new family phenomenon he now faced; a pack of concerned sisters-in-law ganging up on him, trying to get him to open up andshare. Suffering Christ, save him. They were great women, and it was sweet of them to care, but no fucking way, thank you.
His jeans were draped on a leather couch, beneath assorted lingerie. Another condom wrapper fluttered to the ground as he pulled on his jeans. He grunted, unimpressed, and rooted through his pockets.
Typical. He’d blown his emergency cab fare buying drinks for those girls, from the looks of them. So he was stranded, on foot, who the fuck knew where. Partying was such a freaking chore sometimes.
A trip to the john revealed two more condom wrappers. Evidently he’d engaged in sink and/or shower sex. He stared at the scraps of foil as he pissed, trying to remember the aquatic adventures. He felt soiled, paradoxically enough.
Not that he had moral problems with an anonymous three-way. On the contrary. Girls were yummy. Bring ’em on. He was just lower than dirt depressed today. And it was just going to get worse from here.
The face that stared back from the bathroom mirror was both familiar and strange. The face of his dead identical twin, as Kev might have been. They hadn’t looked as much alike as some twins did, but his own mug was still Sean’s best point of reference. The superficial details were the same. Hard-muscled body, give or take a few scars. Wavy dirt-blond hair, which had gotten shaggy lately. A mirror image of Kev’s one-sided dimple in his own lean, stubbly cheek.
The grim face that stared back at him had no dimple today. Eye sockets smudged with purplish shadows, which made his light green irises look weirdly pale. The hollows under his cheekbones looked like they’d been chopped out with a hatchet. He looked grayish in the harsh light. Zombie pale. Something to scare the kiddies into good behavior.
Looking into a mirror on August eighteenth forced him to reflect on how much his face resembled Kev’s—and how much it no longer did.
