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“That summer that we met, you were saving up money to finish your degree,” she ventured, her voice cautious.
And I blew every last penny on a rock for you, baby.
He stopped himself, just in time. No need to burden her with that. He touched the small gem in his ear, twirled it. His one nervous habit.
He’d worn it ever since he’d gotten the money together to set it into an earring, and never examined why. Masochism, maybe. A stern reminder not to get wound up about women. A perverse mix of both.
Maybe just because he was a vain peacock. The diamond looked sharp, which he liked, and it bugged his humorless brothers, which he also liked. Jerking Davy and Con around was one of the great joys of his existence. They considered his diamond an effete affectation. Fuck ’em. That was just dour old crazy Eamon talking. He’d be damned if he’d let the ghost of his dead father dictate his fashion accessories, too.
The shadow Dad had cast over his life was long enough as it was.
“So. I know you were interested in studying chemical engineering. Did you ever…” Her voice trailed off.
“No, Liv,” he said gently. “I never went back to finish my degree.”
She paused. “I didn’t mean to seem as if I was criticizing you.”
“Nah. A lot of things changed that summer. To tell you the truth, I forgot all about chemical engineering. It barely crossed my mind.”
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.
“Don’t be,” he told her. “I’m not. In retrospect, academia or theoretical research or a think tank would have been all wrong for a spaz like me. I would have gone batshit. Adrenaline junkie that I am.”
She twisted her hands together. “I’m so sorry,” she said again.
He shot her a puzzled look. “What are you sorry for this time?”
She shrugged. “All of it. What happened fifteen years ago. The dent that it put in your life. What happened today, too.”
“Ah. That,” he said. “Don’t be sorry about that on my account. I’m better off than I was before. It’s easier to deal with Kev being murdered than accept that he’d gone nuts. Now I’ve got someone external that I can hunt down and kill. That’s so much better, babe. I can’t even tell you.”
“Well,” she murmured doubtfully. “I suppose. If you say so.”
He decided to deflect questions from his own twitchy self. “So what have you done with yourself in the past fifteen years?” he asked.
She let out a small laugh. “Compared to you, absolutely nothing.”
“Oh, come on,” he said. “Spill it.”
She tossed her hands up. “Normal, dull, predictable stuff. Went to college. Went abroad. Studied art and architecture and literature. Tried to learn some French and Italian. Didn’t get very far. Got a masters in library science. Worked various places as a research librarian. Decided to try my hand at running a bookstore. And the rest you know.”
“I thought your folks wanted you to go into the family business.”
“Oh, yes. My mother was frantic. I wasted lots of energy opposing her. I guess that’s the big war story of my life, but it’s too sad and boring to tell. So that’s it for me. No crossing the desert on a camel, or swashbuckling swordfights, or guarding diamond mines, or mortal combat with cruel warlords or suchlike. Just dull, normal living.”
He rubbed the scar from his bullet wound. “Be glad,” he said.
“I know, but it seems so tame. At least until yesterday. My normal life is mostly work. In my spare time, I read books, shop for groceries, do laundry, pay utility bills. I see lots of movies. I love to garden. I collect patchwork quilts. I enjoy making bread and jam. Being domestic.”
He pictured it. Cooking with her, rattling around together in their homey, cluttered kitchen. Cuddling next to her underneath one of those quilts. Munching homemade bread and jam with her on her couch.
Gardening? Hmm. Maybe he could sprawl in a lawn chair and nurse a cold beer while he watched Liv garden. Bent sexily over her tomatoes at a ninety degree angle, in snug blue jeans. Yeah. Mmm.
“Sounds real nice,” he said wistfully. “Can I come?”
She made a sound, like she was blowing air out of her lungs. “Stop it, Sean. I don’t know what to think when you say stuff like that.”
“I’m a simple creature,” he said. “Take me at my word.”
