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“Thanks,” she murmured.
They were silent for a long time, but he finally gathered his courage and gave it another shot. “How about your parents? What’s their story?”
She shook her head. “My dad was never in the picture. He left not long after I was born. My mom raised us on her own. But she never quite came back to herself, after losing Chris. She struggled for years. Then she had a heart attack six years ago. So it’s just me now.” She gave him a brief smile. “Something we have in common. Both orphaned.”
He nodded. “That’s why you do this work, right? You want to give to all these people what you couldn’t give to Chris?”
Jenna gazed down at her hands clasped on her lap. “I suppose,” she said. “Hadn’t ever thought of it like that. Chris was my North Star, I guess. The whole world needs to be saved, and no one can save it all, since we’re not comic book superheroes. But if we all do a little, maybe we have a chance. And this is my bit. Someone else can work on saving the whales and the bees and the ozone and the ocean. I’m doing the arms.”
“You make me want to save the world, too,” he said. “I feel like such a slacker.”
She laughed at him. “Ha! You just keep doing what you’re doing. Your buildings are gorgeous. You’re helping make sustainable eco-friendly urban planning a reality in cities all over the world. Beautiful things make the whole world better.”
He felt both embarrassed and ridiculously pleased. “Thanks.”
He parked in front of her apartment and turned off the engine.
Tension gripped them. They were in the danger zone again. Every detail of last night’s passionate episode, and its painful aftermath, hung heavy in the air between them.
“I really want to walk upstairs with you and see you safely inside,” he said. “But I will not come on to you. I swear it. On my honor.”
“That’s really not necessary,” she murmured.
“What? Walking you upstairs, or swearing sacred vows on my honor?”
“Both. You’re being overdramatic. But if it makes you feel better, fine.”
He walked her up and stopped when he saw her front door, mindful of his vow.
Jenna drifted reluctantly onward toward her door. “Good night,” she said. “Thanks for everything. The ride, dinner. And for making Michael’s day. It was so sweet of you.”
“Don’t thank me,” he said. “This was a great day for me. Best day I’ve had in longer than I can even remember.”
I could make it the best night, too.
The unsaid words vibrated between them, because apparently he hadn’t learned last night’s lesson well enough. The longing to touch her just kept getting stronger.
“It was wonderful for me, too,” she admitted.
They gazed at each other. This was his cue, to say something lighthearted. Repeat the good-nights. Turn the hell around. Walk down the damn stairs. Left foot, right foot.
But his voice was locked in his throat. And he made no move to go.
Jenna looked tormented. “Please,” she whispered. “Please, Drew. Stop that.”
He knew exactly what she meant, but all he could do was play dumb. “I’m not doing or saying anything.”
To his dismay, her face crumpled, and she covered it with both her hands, cursing.
He reached out. “Oh, damn. Jenna—”
“No!” She jerked back, out of range, and wiped at her eyes. “No, I’d really better not. Sorry. It’s been an emotional day. I’m wrecked.”
“I wish I could help,” he said.
Jenna looked miserable. “I’m so sorry about what I said last night. The problem is, my reasons for saying it haven’t changed.” Her voice shook. “I’m extremely attracted to you, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, and this is hard, and awful. I’m so sorry. But I just...can’t.”
Ouch.He turned away before she could see the look on his face. “Okay,” he said. “I’m gone. I won’t put you on the spot like this.”
He ran down the stairs. He felt like he’d been punched in the chest as he started up the car.
For God’s sake, look at him. So last night’s slap-down hadn’t been enough punishment for him. He just had to come back for more. He’d practically begged her for it.
Women came on to him all the time. There was an art to steering around them, evading them, letting them down gently. He’d considered himself good at it.
The irony was painful. He’d finally found a woman he wanted to get closer to, and she’d slammed the door on him. She thought he was a train wreck waiting to happen.
It would be almost funny, if it didn’t suck so hard.
