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I swallowed a million questions, savoring each word. Not because I cared about my nonexistent dad. But because my mom was the one telling me.
“I wish I had a picture of him but I think I burned them all.”
I laughed. “That’s okay,” I said. She turned to me. “Really. I don’t care. You’re all I need, Mamita.”
She opened her arms to me and I embraced her. We didn’t move. “I’m sorry I don’t tell you enough how proud I am of you,” she said.
“Me, too. For everything,” I said into her shoulder.
“I won’t try to talk you into being a lawyer.”
“At least for a while.”
“Yes, for a while,” she amended.
“So, you agree with me?” I asked, my chest tightening. “That I can actually pull this off? Because a tour and an album means money, Mom. And if I do well, I can make another album, I can even teach lessons in my spare time...”
“I always have believed that.”
I rolled my eyes. “Ha!”
“I wasn’t just worried about your ability to take care of yourself, Cassandra,” she said, squeezing me. “I’m also worried you’re going to leave me forever.”
I brushed her head, feeling tears well in my eyes once more. “I’m not going to leave you forever.”
“If you become famous at music you will. You’ll move to Los Angeles or something. You tell me I should get a life, but I think I should get used to being alone. Except for MiMi.”
We let go, and I looked at her brown eyes, her dimples, the lines that formed when she smiled. I took a deep breath. “Mom?”
She raised her eyebrows, sarcastic. “Yes, it is me, your mom.”
Nice to know we’re back to normal, at least.
“Will you come to my show tomorrow night? There’s a song I want you to hear.”
“Of course I will be there,” she said.
I smiled big and we went back to finishing the dishes, my tense muscles falling still with the running warm water and the lavender soap smell and the texture of the thick clay bowls I had washed so many times as a girl.
I felt larger than I had when I came in, towering against the sink and the task and the counter at my hips, not only because I was bigger against this house now than I was in my memories. I felt big because my mother had said she was proud, and this time, she meant she was proud of all of me.
