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I lowered my voice. “All you would have to do is sign some papers before you deploy. When you come back, I will get divorced, anything you want.”
Frankie handed me back the brochure, and crossed his arms over his Captain America T-shirt. He kept looking back at the house as I spoke, as if he were afraid of someone inside. “Cassie,” he said, then pushed air out of his mouth, shaking his head. “I want to help you. I really, really do. You’re like blood. I would do anything for you.”
“Those are things people say when they’re about to say no.” I could hear it in the air, his refusal. I was already thinking of ways I could pull it off as a joke. But if it were a joke, I wouldn’t be getting tears in my eyes. Damn it. I just asked someone to commit fraud so I could afford to have a disease.
“If things were different, I would,” he said, reaching a hand out to touch my arm. “I’ve got Elena to think about now.”
“Elena?” I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat.
“My girlfriend,” he said, jerking his head toward the house.
“Oh, of course!” The woman in turquoise. “Of course. Well.”
“We’re pretty serious.”
“Makes sense. That’s awesome,” I said, hoping I sounded happy for him.
Clicking heels sounded on the pavement behind me. I turned to face Elena, a woman around my age with sleek black hair in styled waves. Her makeup was visible but tasteful, her dress bright and flattering.
“Hey, baby!” she said to Frankie, cheerful. Then to me, “Hi, I’m Elena.”
“Great to meet you,” I lied.
As I shook her soft hand, some sort of chasm broke beneath me, pulling me down, spiraling around my gut and squeezing like a python. Elena appeared composed, loving, in control of her life, and of course Frankie didn’t want to upset that. Of course not.
“How’d y’all meet?” I forced out.
Frankie’s face lit up. “Through my mom. She came over here for a work thing last year. I always thought she was cute.”
“We’re moving in together when Frankie gets back,” Elena said, and they exchanged nervous, adoring glances. “We’re so excited.”
I could feel myself falling deeper into the chasm as they took each other’s arms.
“That’s awesome,” I repeated. “Congratulations.”
“Hey,” he started. “What if I give you a loan?”
Elena tilted her head toward him, confused.
“No, no, no, no.” I put up my hands in embarrassment, then realized I was still holding the brochure. I stuffed it in my purse. “I gotta go to work. I just, um. It was nothing. I’ll figure it out.”
“Hey,” Frankie said again, and opened his arms.
I hugged him hard, pinching my eyes against tears.
“Frankie?” I whispered. “Could we keep this between us?”
I felt him nod. We let go.
“It was great to see you, Cass.”
“You, too, Frankie.” It was. “Good to meet you, Elena.”
She waved and I walked back toward the playground to my car. The tears came, quiet and thick, putting out the fire of nerves I’d felt earlier. They also dissolved the positive heat I’d felt, the sizzling go for it feelings that had lifted me through the events of the past week.
Nothing was any different from before.
I started to see my future. It wasn’t too hard to picture, really.
