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Amber continued. “She’s made all your favorites.” Then she added mischievously, “Even roast beef.”
“Roast beef is your favorite!” I accused weakly.
“Ech,” she shrugged her shoulders. “I might have told a little white lie.”
I snorted out a laugh. “You took advantage of my misery to get roast beef?”
Amber smiled at me and twisted to tuck my hair behind my ear. “In my defense, she offered to make it with lemon potatoes, and you know how I feel about lemon potatoes. She already made Yemista and Moussaka. Neither of which are my favorite, as you know. The only thing left was cabbage rolls. Do you want me to die of starvation?”
She stood and pulled me up in front of her. Her face turned serious, and she gently palmed my cheeks. “You’re going to be okay.”
I nodded in agreement though it wasn’t a question.
“Now, go brush your teeth. Your breath stinks like a dead badger.”
I pushed her away and scoffed while she walked away. She paused at the door.
“Ruby?”
I turned to her with a small smile, my hand resting over the familiar, comforting weight of Vander’s cross. “Yeah?”
“He’s not the only one who loves you. I love you, too.”
I nodded and swallowed hard. “I love you, too, Amber.”
She was right. I had to fight, and I couldn’t do that lying down.
So, fight I did.
While true travel remained an elusive goal, I worked hard for two years and managed to include all of Bridgewater, Bayview Village and Milltown in my bubble.
Every weekend I practiced. I filled my car with gas and drove to various places in the triangle of those three locales. I took myself out for lunch, went to bookstores, shopped for new clothes, and a few times I even met with old friends from high school who had returned from university. Those friendships quickly fizzled under the restrictions of my condition, but I told myself it was no great loss.
Mostly, I tagged along with Amber and her bestie, Minty. With them, I could go anywhere, and they often went with me when I ventured somewhere new for the first time.
Thankfully, financial troubles were not among the things I had to worry about. Spuds brought in enough money to cover our monthly expenses, including Amber’s tuition fees. Yiayia took an allowance the same as she always had, and the rest went to me.
It was not a lot.
I learned in those first few years how much more went into running Spuds than I’d imagined. Pride for my pappou, for being able to navigate the tax forms, the banking, and all the rest of the paperwork involved, filled me to overflowing. It must have been difficult for him. He didn’t speak English well when he first immigrated, and he had very little education. Not even high school.
I mean, I struggled with it, especially with my ADHD brain.
My therapist and I set up a simple but comprehensive system to keep my life in order. The system hinged upon me carrying my brain around in a day timer rather than expecting myself to remember everything, or anything really. I simply had to check it every morning and add items to it as soon as they came up.
It should have been foolproof.
Still there were times I forgot to check and double-booked myself. Some instances were funnier than others.
I lay back on the gurney, feet up in the stirrups, cold and exposed. My doctor, the same one I’d had since my tender tweens, who had seen me through my first period, my need for birth control, my heartbreak over losing my pappou, the decision to discontinue university, as well as the dual diagnoses of ADHD and Agoraphobia, perched on a stool between my feet, shining a bright light on my hoo-ha.
I cleared my throat. “Dr. Zywie, I’m going to need to take a call in the next 30 seconds. If I could avoid this, believe me, I would.”
She looked at me blankly for a moment and then laughed, well-used to my foibles. “Okay, well let’s get started and see if we can’t finish before your phone rings.”
She touched the inside of my knees gently. “Let your knees fall open… Perfect. Okay, two fingers…” She held up her two fingers to tell me what she would do next when my phone rang.
I cleared my throat again, nervously, and lifted my head to peak at her through my spread knees.
