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My head spun. Why not indeed. It was foolishness, at this point, to hold off.
I loved him. I always had. I wanted to have a family with him, and it looked like we had one. I was almost certain that Jace was his and I did not want to stand in the way of Jace having his father.
Now that my life was most certainly tied to Vander’s forever, letting him go was not an option. It never was.
So much change in so short a time. I couldn’t believe he’d only been back in my life for a couple of weeks. So much change knocked off my equilibrium. Tonight’s revelations knocked my entire world clean off its axis.
“Take the leap, Ruby,” he urged. “I promise I’ll catch you.”
“What were you going to do if I didn’t come tonight?”
“I planned to drink myself stupid, wake up with a hangover, and then have the same conversation that we just had, only I’d have done it tomorrow night.”
“Were you mad at me?”
He sighed. “I considered the possibility that you withheld him from me. I’m sorry for that. Mostly I was shocked that he was mine, sickened that you’d had to raise him without me, then so fucking sad that I’d lost so much time with him, and you. I’m angry with myself. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t let you go a-fuckin-gain. I don’t want to lose another second with either of you.”
“You didn’t even touch me,” I whispered. “You went to touch my cheek, but you didn’t.”
“I didn’t deserve to touch you.”
“You’re touching me now.”
He squeezed me tighter. “Yes, and I thank God for that fact.”
I shifted off his lap to sit beside him, called Amber first, then Yiayia.
Yiayia was inconsolable, crying that she should have called Vander and told him about the agoraphobia. I spent fifteen minutes on the phone with her, reassuring her that there was no way she could have found his contact information even if she had decided to tell him.
Finally, I told her if she couldn’t settle down, I would have to come home. She threatened to boil me if I came home and promised she’d be okay.
Tomorrow I’d ask Gus to contact Drew.
After ending the call, I lay my head back on the couch. It was only nine o’clock but felt like the early hours of the morning.
Vander stood up and pulled me up beside him. “Let’s go to sleep, agapi mou.”
I glanced at his face, once again set in harsh lines from the day’s events.
“Just sleep, Ruby-mine. I’m just going to hold you in our bed while you sleep.”
I looked down, overcome by the fact that we now had a bed and were going to share it for the first time. Finally, I nodded, and he led me to his bedroom.
He gave me a t-shirt and stripped down to his boxer briefs. He got in on his side, opened the covers to invite me in, and I slipped in beside him. Pushing his arm beneath me, he rolled me until my back was pressed flush against his chest.
With his knees tucked behind mine, his chest lined up along my back, one arm stretched out underneath my head holding onto my wrist, the other looped over my waist, his fingers linked through mine, he kissed me behind my ear, and we slept.
Sometime later I stirred and felt him awake behind me.
What seemed like a reasonable choice, the only choice, a few short hours ago, now felt rushed and foolhardy. All the old doubts and fears returned to plague me.
“You’re okay, koukla,” he murmured in my ear.
Oh, God, his voice in my ear, husky from sleep, buzzed straight to my clit. I pressed back against him, arching my back involuntarily, my heart at war with my brain.
He ran his hand down my stomach, over my hip, and down my thigh, then back up to brush his thumb across my nipple.
I turned my head toward him and he feathered kisses along the side of my face while his hand repeated its downward journey to my thigh, then back up to cup my breast, pinching and rolling my nipple between his long fingers.
