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“I’m sorry I failed you. I’m sorry I’m causing you pain. I love you. I’ve only ever loved you. I’ll never love another. I’ll never touch another.”
I turned to face him and looked at his face for the first time since I’d seen him the night before. Lines of worry bracketed his mouth and tightened his lips. His dark eyes shimmered with both pain and regret. I placed my palms over his bearded cheeks, held his beautiful eyes, and breathed through the pain.
He looked into my eyes, tightened his lips, and swallowed hard. Dropping his hands to my waist, he pulled me closer and tipped his forehead down to rest on mine.
“Your pleasure is my pleasure, your pain is my pain,” he whispered, his voice raw. “Please don’t leave me. Please, God, I’m sorry, but please accept my boy.”
I shook my head and then nodded. “Never. Of course,” I promised immediately.
He grasped my wrists and pulled my arms around his neck, held me tight, and tucked his face into my neck. His chest expanded against mine with his deep inhale.
Anxiety.
Anxiety that I caused.
I smoothed my hands over his back, stroked his hair.
I needed to figure out how to forgive him and move on.
