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I turned to him then, a scream locked and loaded in my throat, when a sliver of cognizance urged caution while he was driving. I took a breath.
“Just take me home. I’m not doing this with you again.”
“Can I talk? Can I explain?” His tone had taken on a hint of the desperation I lived with daily.
“I don’t want to hear about her,” I scoffed. “I don’t want to hear about any of them. Tell me, did you hook up with Miss Soft Voice? Was she next on your hit list after me?”
“Who is Miss Soft Voice?” He asked exasperated.
“She was at the conference. I saw the way she looked at you, saw you think about it, before you found me in the lobby.”
“Ah.”
“Ah,” I mimicked, then gagged, bending over my bent knees. “Oh, God!”
“Ruby! Ruby, no, baby. I never slept with her. She’s one of my consultants. There’s nothing personal between us. Never has been.”
“I’m not your baby,” I cried, turning to really look at him for the first time.
His eyes were wide, the lines around his mouth burrowed deeply behind the shadow of his beard, and his lips were compressed into a straight line.
“You’ll always be mine, Ruby,” he stated softly but firmly.
“You left me!” I screeched, the raw pain of more than three decades of abandonment that began with my mother, and ended with him, echoed within the close confines of the car. I clasped my hands over my ears and bent low over my lap.
It’s okay, Ruby. You’re okay. I live and uh, move, in my … I’m free...
My breath came in shuddering gasps.
Home. I need to go home.
I heard the ticking of the indicator and felt the car slow.
No, no, no, no, no! I want to go home. I need to get home.
I took time to breathe, to steady myself, then readied myself to sit up and calmly insist that he take me home.
By the time the car stopped, I was somewhat steadier. I sat up and looked around. He had parked in the empty lot of an industrial building that had closed for the night. I scanned the dark, empty space surrounding us.
“Oh, no,” I gasped.
I didn’t know where we were, nobody else was there, and anybody I imagined might be there was no one I wanted to meet. The sickening prickle of my blood draining from my face met the congealed dread in my stomach.
I yanked my seatbelt and stabbed at the button to release it. Without taking my eyes off the windows, I scrambled across the seat away from the door. I pressed my back against Vander’s side, keeping my eyes on the window.
“Get me out of here,” I panted. I swiveled my head, scanning everything I could see through the darkness outside, so afraid to look, more afraid not to.
“Ruby,” he whispered. “What is happening?”
I twisted my neck to meet his eyes. His widened when they met mine.
“Get me out of here, Vander! This is not a safe place!” I beseeched him.
He nodded once, acquiescing. “Okay, Ruby. I’ve got you, baby.” He leaned across me, grasped the middle seatbelt, and secured it around my waist.
I leaned forward with my face in my hands and whimpered.
He was taking too long. I could hear my breath rapidly rasping in and out.
