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CHAPTERTWELVE
Keep a man? What do I know about keeping a man? What did it even mean?
Mae’s words replayed themselves in Nora’s head.
She had washed and dressed in a gown made of acoarse pink fabric. It was a beautiful gown with a patterned bodice. Nora had chosen the dress for its feminine appeal, despite her refusal to admit it. She intended to speak with her new husband, and she knew that if she dressed nicely, she would feel more at ease in his presence...
Her plans had gone awry, and Jonan had shown no interest in conversing with her that day. He had greeted her that morning and asked how she slept, but it had not been the pleasant conversation she had hoped for. In fact, he left almost as soon as it began.
If I can’t speak to him easily, how will I keep a husband?
She was full of questions with no answers. They had spoken the day before, and she had gotten a glimpse of who he was beneath his exterior — she had thought they could be friends. But as Nora made her way to the dining room for supper, she realized she had been mistaken.
Jonan was a man, a Highlander, a warrior. She could expect nothing more.
Nora went to the dining room when supper was readyexpectingto see one plate on the table. But Jonan was there already.
The sun had already set, so the dining room was illuminated by the wall torches. They made the room feel cozy and warm. She sat down, feeling nervous. The foodlooked delicious, but Nora's appetite had vanished.
She looked over at Jonan, who had already started eating. “Good evening, my lord,” she said out of respect.
“Good evenin’,” he replied without looking at her.
Despite his brutish behavior, I share a greeting and he cannot be bothered to look at me? Why, he barely responded!
Despite her emotions, she knew that saying anything would be futile, so she began to eat.
She took a first bite and reached for her drink. Normally, she enjoyed her food, but it tasted like ash in her mouth at the time. She couldn't help but notice Jonan whose nonchalanteating was beyond annoying.
She coughed lightly in an attempt to catch his attention,to no avail.
Nora felt words of displeasure trying to escape her lips, and she did everything she could to keep them quiet. Instead, her gaze was drawn to himas he quickly finished his meal.
He swiftlypushed away from the table and began to leave the room.
“My lord.” The words slipped before she could react.
They both froze.
“Is something amiss?” he said turning to look at her.
Nora scrambled for what to say. Would she show her anger?
No, it is silly to reveal how you feel.
“Ye have somethin’ to say?” Jonan pressed, sounding impatient.
“We did not speak before we wed,” she began. His dismissal enraged her even more.“I did not know the type of man you were, and I know that you knew nothing about me.”
Nora continued to address him from where she sat. If he got too close, she knew she might find it hard to hide her upset eyes.
“I do not know what it really means to be a wife to a Scottish lord. I like the clan and I will do all I can to help the people but I also do not know how to be a wife.” Nora’s throat felt heavy.
You do not need to say more, she told herself.
But Nora knew that it was her fear of nonchalance or anger from him that caused her worrying. So, she cleared her throat and continued to speak.
“I did not want to speak to you. Neither in the kitchen nor during the ceremony. But you talked to me as if you wanted to — unlike today. You have not asked how I have fared or what I did in your absence. I'm not sure what a marriage should be like, but it isdefinitely not this. I do notask for your undivided attention,I know you are busy, but I shouldlike to know if you want a wife who speaks to you or one who shan'tacknowledge your comings and goings.” She lifted her eyes to his. “I shalldo well in either case.”
