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Chapter Nineteen
Aindreas
Aindreas felt numb as he watched Laird Cambel leave his father’s study. He couldn’t believe that everything he worked hard for, everything he had planned, had crumbled so easily before him like an ill-built wall lacking a solid foundation. All the time spent sending letters, speaking with the village speakers, waiting for a response; all that time wasted.
Aindreas slowly turned around. His hands fisted at his sides. Rage brewed within him as he met his father’s eyes. After all this time, his father still found ways to make it known what he thought of him. Aindreas should have known the laird wouldn’t consider him for the alliance given his birth and the lack of MacBean blood running through his veins. He was foolish to think his father, nae, the Laird MacBean, would choose him over Daniel.
“How could ye do that?” he found himself asking. His voice was just above a whisper, yet it held all the darkness and anger he had held within all this time. He stalked towards his father, slamming his hands on the desk, ignoring the pain tingling through his palms. “He was our only hope. He was my only hope.”
His father leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as if he was bored and not being confronted with his foolish decisions. “I stand by my decision, Aindreas, as should ye.”
“Are ye daft, old man?” Aindreas shouted. “Laird Cambel is leaving as we speak. We could still run to him.”
His father shook his head. “Nae. I won’t, and neither will ye.”
Aindreas laughed bitterly. “Yer a stubborn old ox and yer letting our one chance go. Do ye understand, Father?”
There was a knock at the door Aindreas hardly registered. He straightened, his hands falling away from the desk. The door opened, but he didn’t turn around, not caring who or what it may be, for he knew it couldn’t be Laird Cambel. The Cambels rarely changed their minds once it was set, which he learned from spending all his time gathering research on the fiery red-bearded man.
“Apologies, my laird,” came a rasping voice sounding like Tavis. “But Miss Blair is quite tardy for her morning lessons.”
Aindreas’s whole body twitched as he realized Blair was still in the room with them. She had heard everything; his anger at his father, his demands to marry Sorcha. He glanced over his shoulder, finding her gaze fixated on the floor as she stood next to Daniel. She probably thought he cared for Sorcha. The thought made his gut twist in fear and distaste. He shook his head, knowing he shouldn’t care about what Blair thought. The clan needed him. He needed to become laird, he told himself.
But at what cost?
“Aye, Tavis, I believe I’m the one that owes ye an apology,” said his father.
Aindreas’s gaze narrowed on the laird as he watched his gaze turn to Blair, a soft smile filled with adoration and affection he had rarely seen in the old man: only a handful of times when he was a young boy, and the laird was training him in sword fighting. He recalled the pride in the laird’s eyes, pride he rarely saw these days.
“I have kept Blair longer than intended,” his father continued. “Off ye go, Blair. I expect to see ye in the afternoon.”
“Of course, my laird,” came Blair’s angelic voice, making Aindreas feel even worse for leading her on the night before. He lifted his gaze to her, recalling her cries from the night before as he lingered outside her door, wishing he could do something, anything to stop her tears. But he couldn’t. They couldn’t be together. After waiting for her cries to quiet, he had slowly picked himself off the floor and trudged back to his quarters.
Aindreas watched her follow after Tavis, her gaze fixated to the ground as she brushed past him, the door clicked closed behind her. He didn’t know why Tavis had lessons with Blair. Frankly, he hardly knew about the girl and found himself wanting to know more despite knowing he should leave her alone. He heard rustling at his side, drawing his thoughts away from Blair. Turning, he found Daniel shifting from foot to foot, his nose wrinkling in distaste while he glanced between Aindreas and the laird.
“I will follow yer command, my laird,” said Daniel, yet there was pain etched in his face as he said the words. Aindreas would have laughed at the audacity Daniel had, kissing the laird’s bottom and doing whatever was asked of him.
However, he knew the pain lurking behind his gaze. He wanted Blair. It was so plainly obvious he had affections for the girl.
“I’m sure I could speak with him,” Daniel continued. “Convince him of my chivalry and my good standing with the clan.”
The laird sighed, his fingers pressing against his temples. “Nae, it’s fine, Daniel,” he said in a calm voice, making Aindreas want to roar in rage. They should run after Laird Cambel and beg for his aid. He was the only way they were ever going to stop the MacAlisters from raiding their lands. “Could ye give us a moment, Daniel? I would like to speak with my son.”
Daniel cast Aindreas one final warning look as if telling Aindreas not to cause a scene. Aindreas’s gaze darkened as he watched Daniel leave, wishing he was his cousin so his father could take him seriously. He wondered vaguely how different their relationship would be if he had truly been sired from the laird. Would Laird MacBean listen to Aindreas’s advice? Would he be marrying Sorcha instead in order to seal the alliance?
Would Aindreas feel more worthy of residing within Castle Lachlan’s walls?
As soon as the door closed, Aindreas turned to his father. They stared at each other, Aindreas waiting for his father to explain himself while the laird assessed him. The more Aindreas waited, the angrier he became. He should have known his father wouldn’t explain his decisions. It was rare the laird ever considered Aindreas. He stared at his father, angry tears prickling his eyes.
“Why do ye hate me so much?” he found himself asking, unable to hold back the words he so desperately wanted to ask all these years. “Why do ye have to make me feel so inferior in front of everyone? Why do ye prefer Daniel over me?”
His father sighed. “Aindreas—“
“No!” Aindreas shouted, slamming his fists onto the desk. “I have tried everything to gain yer respect. I have worked myself to the bone, training to become someone ye could be proud of.” Aindreas inhaled deeply, feeling as if he was going to burst into flames. Everything about this room angered him, reminding him of when he was a young lad, listening to his father’s instructions only to discover he did not share this man’s blood.
“Aindreas, please, listen to me.”
Aindreas chuckled bitterly, tossing back his head while he slowly turned around. “Listen to what?” He met his father’s gaze, pausing when he noticed the sadness gleaming back at him. “Listen to ye tell me I’m not yers? That I’m worth nothing to ye? Is that why ye chose Daniel over me. Is that why—“
