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Blair felt her body move, following closely behind Tavis and the soldier, yet her mind drifted wearily behind her. She felt as if she was outside her body, watching it move, watching the servants pass her with questioning looks. Her body moved of its own accord, her bottom lip quivering while tears burned her gaze. She clenched her jaw to keep herself from bursting into a fit of tears. As they turned a corner, they found several women huddled together, whispering amongst themselves before scurrying away at Tavis’s dark glare. Blair wondered briefly if she was still dreaming.
She had just been with the laird. How could he have passed so quickly?
Clasping her hands in front of her, she tried to keep her head high, tried to blink away the burning in her eyes. She needed to remain strong, if not for herself, then for Tavis. He needed her aid. She needed to learn all she could.
But why?
Her purpose, the only reason why she was brought to this place in the first place, was to aid the laird: prevent his illness from spreading.
And she had failed.
The laird was dead, so what was her purpose now?
He should have had Tavis help him in the first place. It was foolish to think she could ever become a healer: foolish to believe she could ever help him with his health. He had been her savior. He had provided her with a home after being alone for so long.
And she had done nothing for him.
She bit her bottom lip to keep from sobbing, knowing crying wouldn’t do her any good. Inhaling deeply, she turned down the corridor, her footsteps slowing upon seeing the laird’s study, where she had been only moments before. The door looked foreboding, and she realized for the first time that day, it was made from dark wood. Her body quivered with each step towards the door. She bit her bottom lip as it trembled, trying to keep herself from breaking down. A figure appeared, standing in their way, and it took Blair a moment to realize it was Lady Alisa blocking their path. Her shrewd eyes watched Blair.
“Lady Alisa,” Tavis said while giving a short bow. “‘Tis quite surprising to see ye here.”
Lady Alisa’s gaze darkened as she turned towards Tavis. “Tavis. A pleasure to see ye as always,” she said bitterly.
“Where is Aindreas? He called for me to inspect the laird.”
Lady Alisa smiled, yet it looked more like a sneer as she paced in front of the door, like a wolf guarding its den. “I sent him to fetch the priest. He should be here shortly.”
“Aye, of course.” Blair frowned as she watched Tavis smile just as bitterly at Lady Alisa, wondering why such a kind, old man would seethe with boiling hate towards the woman. “Maybe I should have a look at ye after Duncan, make sure those feet of yers still work. I would hate for poor Aindreas to go fetching more people for ye, given how the lad is now in mourning.”
Lady Alisa bristled, her smile thinning yet not falling. “The lad needed something to do to take his mind off his father’s death.”
Blair grimaced, tears coming to her eyes, and she clenched her jaw to keep from sobbing. She may not have known the laird for long, yet he had been like a father to her, the only father figure she had ever known, given that she had never met her own.
“Aye,” said Tavis while striding towards the door. “I’m so glad ye were the one to give him something to do. Especially, since he is soon to be laird.”
Something dark and cruel gleamed in Lady Alisa’s eye. She tilted her head to the side, her gaze swiveling to Blair’s. “Aye, indeed.”
Blair followed Tavis towards the door, watching it open. Tavis’s form stood in the threshold, pausing for a moment, and she wondered what he saw at that moment; if the laird looked so deathly. She swallowed the lump forming in her throat and stepped forward.
Lady Alisa’s quickly stepped in front of her, nearly toppling Blair over. Blair stumbled backward, wobbling for a moment to regain her balance. “This is no place for a woman,” she whispered harshly, her lips twitching into a smirk. “Ye should leave this to Tavis, to a true healer.”
Blair’s mouth opened, and she peeked over Lady Alisa’s shoulder at Tavis. He didn’t turn around. His head hung from his shoulders, which were trembling.
“Tavis,” she said softly, but Lady Alisa grabbed the door, slamming it shut before the old healer could say anything.
“As I said before,” said Lady Alisa in a sweet tone, making a shiver run down Blair’s spine, “this is no place for a woman. Why don’t ye gather some flowers from the garden, hmm? I’m sure Tavis doesn’t need ye getting in his way.”
Blair blinked up at Lady Alisa, her mouth gaping open. Tavis had called for her to be with him. She was his apprentice. She wanted to tell Lady Alisa that she should be in that room with him. Yet, she couldn’t say the words. They got lost in her throat, and instead, she found herself turning around and trudging down the hall.
She sniffed, her shoulders shaking as she couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Her feet took her down the staircase towards the garden, but she couldn’t continue any longer. At the landing, she stopped, pressing her body against the wall while covering her face with her hands. She sobbed, her body slowly slipping to the floor.
What was she going to do now? How would she be able to stay here without him? There was no point. She was useless. That’s what the others thought of her. Go gather flowers, for that was the only thing she could do. She was never meant to become a healer. It was foolish of her to think otherwise. Foolish of her to believe she had finally found a home.
“Blair?”
She lifted her gaze, finding Daniel standing before her on the top step. Quickly, she stood and wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she rasped. Grabbing her shawl, she covered the bottom portion of her face and turned on her heel. “I should be going.” But she didn’t know where. The gardens were in Daniel’s direction, and if she went back up the staircase, she would most likely find herself at the laird’s study once more.
“Are ye alright?”
Blair knew she should tell him she was fine. Lady Alisa didn’t want her speaking to Daniel, but her heart was shattered. “Nae,” she whimpered. “I’m not fine at all.”
She felt Daniel’s hand in hers, felt him tug her towards him. Without thinking, she spun around and wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face into his chest. She released all the pain she had felt in the last day, the pain she felt when she realized Aindreas was using her, the pain she felt at the laird’s passing. Blair felt as if her heart had been torn from her chest. She didn’t think she could ever feel joy again.
