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I shut my phone off and set it beside me. The bathroom door opened, the light went off, and I could see Ray’s silhouette as he made his way back over to the bed. I had silently been hoping he would shower and head home as usual so I could be alone, but instead, he crawled in beside me.
“Are you sure everything’s alright? You seem so distant tonight.”
Normally, I would cuddle up to him afterward, the only time I got any real intimacy from him, but not tonight. Tonight, I wasn’t in the mood.
“No, I’m fine,” I said, rolling away from him and onto my side.
I felt the bed move and his body press against mine as he put his arm under my head, his other arm around my waist, pulling me into him.
“Are you sure? You can talk to me if something is bothering you.”
“Yep, I’m sure” I could feel the tears start to burn my eyes. “Just tired.”
He pulled me closer to him and pulled the covers up around us. I closed my eyes tightly and sighed. I didn’t want more physical closeness than what we’d already had.
“Maybe you need to take some time off?”
“Take time off from what? I can’t take time off from the store, Ray, I have no employees. Taking time off would mean closing.”
“I don’t mean from the store, Cass. You’re stressed. I meant from writing this book. I just don’t understand your need to write it. You’re working yourself to the bone.”
A tear rolled out the corner of my eye. I didn’t want to hear this again even though I feared he was right. Writing part of this anthology meant I would be working a full day at the store and long nights with probably very little sleep. But I didn’t care, all I wanted was support, but he would never understand. The relaunch could mean so much for me. He didn’t understand this was where my passion truly was because he hadn’t known me then. I didn’t respond to his comments. Ray had voiced his thoughts to me more than once on this topic, and I was tired of hearing it. Instead, I changed the subject.
“What are your plans for tomorrow?”
“I have a bunch of errands to run, and I’m having dinner at my daughter’s place tomorrow night. You should come. You should meet her.”
“No, it's good, I’m going to relax at home.” The last thing I wanted to do was meet his daughter. I already knew that she didn’t approve of our relationship. It was odd enough for me dating someone who was so much older, and since I wasn’t sure what direction we were going, I figured it was best not to get involved with his family at this point.
“Good, you need it,” he said, kissing my neck. “Now, get some rest.”
It wasn’t long before he was finally asleep, snoring loudly, finally relaxing his grip on me. Despite how tired I was, my mind wouldn’t shut off, and lying here beside him tonight just felt so wrong when my mind was on someone else. I glanced at the clock. It was two, I couldn’t lay here anymore. I slipped out of bed, grabbed my phone, and left the bedroom, shutting the door softly, careful not to wake him.
I placed two logs on the fire, grabbed some water, and curled up on the couch. I closed my eyes, my mind instantly wandering back to this afternoon. I couldn’t get that kiss out of my mind. What was bothering me, even more, was every time I closed my eyes tonight while Ray and I were having sex, it was Brody I saw.
Chapter Ten
Cass
The smell of chicken androasted potatoes permeated the house. My stomach let out a loud growl as I opened the oven door, warm heat blasting my face. I pulled the rack out of the oven that held the roasting pan and quickly basted the chicken, giving the potatoes a quick stir. Shutting the oven door, I looked around the kitchen. The coffee cake sat cooling on the rack on the counter. I was surprised it had turned out, it had been so long since I made one.
This was the first real home-cooked meal I’d had in over two weeks. I had been trying to make something healthy on Sundays, so I could have leftovers for a couple of days, but that hadn’t been happening lately. It wasn’t easy to cook for one, and it had become my new normal to eat something out of a can or box. I found by the end of the night, I was so tired and didn’t feel like putting forth the effort. I turned to check the table—it was set for two, a small candle burning in the center, a bottle of wine chilling in the fridge.
My stomach felt uneasy as I checked the clock. It was a little after five, Brody was due to arrive at five thirty. I had purposely chosen that time because I knew Ray would be well on his way to his daughter’s, and he wouldn’t be back until after eleven or possibly even the morning. I had been planning to tell him about Brody moving in with me this morning, but I wasn’t even sure how to bring up the subject without starting a fight.
I went to clean up the mess I had made so far when my phone pinged with an email. As soon as I looked at the incoming message, my stomach started to feel queasy. It was enough having the nerves of being alone with Brody, I didn’t need anything else to help. It was one of the authors working on the anthology, wondering if I was okay with the editing date. She had emailed me earlier this morning, but with Ray stomping around, I hadn’t answered her.
I was still so behind and barely had a couple chapters down, and I wasn’t proud of any of them. I had never had this much trouble writing in the past, the stories used to just flow. I knew it was all due to the lack of support I felt from Ray—I had never not been supported before. I found it beyond frustrating not to be able to share something like this with him. Jackson had been so supportive, he always wanted me to run everything by him as I wrote, and now, without that, I guess my confidence was waning.
I took a deep breath and hit reply, typing out the response I was hoping to avoid. I had to let her know there was a possibility I would need a small extension. I knew it wasn’t what she wanted to hear, but hell, at the rate I was going, she would be lucky to have my part of the anthology by the end of January which meant they would have to push out the release date. I didn’t want to let this affect me though, I wanted to start out on the right foot.
The knock on the front door caused me to drop my phone on the counter. Missy had torn off down the hall. I hit send and walked over. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I slowly let it out before I pulled the door open. There he stood, his jacket flung over his arm. He wore jeans and a white cable knit sweater that hugged him tight in all the right places. He looked more built than I remembered, now that I got a good look at him. He was holding a bouquet of red and white carnations, and when he spoke, his voice went right to my center.
“Evening, Cass.” He held the flowers out for me to take.
“Hi.” I was unsure of my voice, so I stepped off to the side to let him in, taking the bouquet from his hand.
“Smells good, Cass. I’ve missed your meals.” He gave me one of his sexy half smiles.
