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“Ray, I'm good, really. I'm going to go home, alone. I just need a good night’s sleep and a few days to get myself out of the funk I’m in.”
“Pushing me away again. So maybe your feelings for him are greater than you say?”
“I'm not pushing you away. Don't put words in my mouth.”
“Don't worry, it’s understandable, he's younger and not a bad-looking guy. You don't have to tell me if you have feelings for him or not Cass, I can tell. The good guy always gets shit on.”
“Don't be that way.”
“Be what way? Clearly, you are siding with him. Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere, I'll still be a pain in your ass.”
I felt horrible. I could tell from the look on his face he was crushed or possibly pretending to be. “I'm sorry. All of this, honestly, couldn't have come at a worse time.”
“It's fine.”
The tension that fell between us during the remainder of the meal was almost unbearable. I turned down dessert, and even though he insisted he pay the bill, I took this one. I didn't want anything looming over my head with him.
“Ray, I don't want there to be tension between us. I don't want things to change. I just need some time to get myself sorted out,” I said as he opened my car door.
“They won't change, don't worry. Now, I want you to get home safe before the bad weather hits. I'm going to head over to that lot at the corner and grab myself a small tree,” he said, kissing my forehead.
“I feel horrible, Ray.”
“Don't, I understand, you need to figure things out. If he hurts you, or if you need me and want to come by, just shoot me a message, and I'll be there. My door is always open.” He leaned in and kissed me goodnight, but it didn't feel like goodnight to me, it felt more final. I could even feel his lip quiver against mine.
He pulled my door open and waited for me to get in, then he shut the door. I started the car, and as soon as Ray stepped back onto the sidewalk, I pulled away from the curb. The drive home was quiet, too quiet, so I clicked the radio on, and Christmas music filled the cabin of the car. What a Christmas this was turning out to be. I just wanted to get home, get in my pajamas, curl up on the couch with Missy, a bottle of wine, and relax.
Chapter Seventeen
Cass
When I got home, thedriveway was empty. I guess Brody had gotten tired of waiting for me and must have gone out. Once inside, I built a fire—Brody had already brought in lots of wood so I could check that off the list. I quickly threw in a load of laundry, fed the cat, got changed into my favorite pair of sweats and a t-shirt, grabbed my bottle of wine from the fridge, and a glass. I was finally settled under a warm blanket and relaxed as I sunk my body against my fluffy pillow and found a movie on TV. Missy laid curled behind my legs, purring contently as I ran my hand over her soft fur. My laptop sat on the table. I needed to write, but I needed to unwind first. I looked around the small cozy cottage. It wasn't much, but it was now home. The only thing missing was a Christmas tree. I had promised Jackson I would get a tree this year, it didn't really matter I had made the promise to empty air, I felt it was important to keep that promise even if right now, I wanted nothing to do with this holiday.
I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I was thankful it was Sunday tomorrow. I had so much weighing on my mind, and after everything that was said at dinner tonight, I really wanted to talk to Brody, find out his side of the story. I had a strong feeling Ray was making everything up. I knew Brody could have a temper, but he was never one to provoke a fight, and it didn't sound like him to talk bad about me. I had known him way too long to believe that. But regardless, Ray was my boyfriend, and I felt horrible for leaving him tonight on such a bad note. I grabbed my phone off the table and sent Ray a quick text.
ME: Sorry about tonight. Hopeing you could give me a hand tomorrow? I'd like to get a tree.
Almost instantly a reply came back.
RAY: I know I promised you I would be here for the book drive, but I have to leave town tomorrow. Need those parts for a big repair coming in, it can't wait now. I will text you as soon as I get back. Should be gone about a week or two. Plus, I need time away.
I felt my heart sink. He had promised, he had promised me he would be here for the fundraiser. Was he doing this to get back at me for treating him the way I had tonight? I swallowed hard and through teary eyes typed my response.
Me: You won't be here for the book drive? You promised
Ray: I should be back the day of. Sorry, Cass, I know this isn’t a good time to leave, but I have no choice. You need space, so I'm giving you what you want.
I was pissed at that comment. Sure, I needed space, but I never said I wanted him to leave.
Me: But you said you didn't have to go until after christmas
Ray: Things change, your words. get some rest. I'll come say goodbye before I leave.
I felt a tear roll down my cheek at how cold his comments were. I threw my phone down on the table and turned my attention to the movie. I really didn't want bad feelings between Ray and me, but it seemed there were going to be. I shut my cell phone off, I didn't want to be bothered by him anymore tonight. Pulling the blanket up around my shoulders, I let my body sink into the pillows. A loud knock on the front door caused me to jump.
Frowning, I got uncurled from the warmth of the blanket and headed to the door. “Who is it?” I called.
“It's me, Cass,” I heard the familiar deep voice call. I pulled the door open and was faced with a giant evergreen tree.
