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“That’s okay, I don't have anything for you either,” he smiled.
“What are you talking about? You told me not to snoop under the tree.”
“That’s right, but that doesn't mean those are from me,” he said smiling.
“Sure, okay, Brody. Whatever you say,” I smiled. “Don't try to make me feel better for not getting you anything.”
He got up from under the blanket we had been sharing and walked shirtless over to the tree, picking up the two wrapped boxes, and set them in front of me.
“Okay, okay, one of them is from me, you can open that first. The other one I have specific instructions that you open it alone and on Christmas Eve.”
I frowned, looking down at the wrapped gifts.
“Open this one first.” He sat down, handing me the one package, studying me as I tore at the paper.
I opened the taped box, pulled away the red tissue paper inside, and there in my hands sat the same frame Ray had broken, only this one was brand new, and it contained the exact same picture of Jackson and me. I didn't know what to say.
“How did you do this?”
“Well, I was the one who originally picked up the frame Jackson had ordered, so I knew where to get it. And you don't remember, but I was the one who took that picture the summer I visited you guys. I dug through a couple of boxes of mine and found the card it was on. I couldn't stand to see you so upset that night. I went and replaced it the next day. I knew how much it meant to you.”
“Thank you, Brody.” A lone tear fell onto my hand as I stared at the picture. “I don't know what to say.”
“You don't need to say anything.” He leaned down and pulled my chin up and kissed me softly. “Now, I'm going to head down to the bedroom and leave you alone to open the other one.”
I looked up at him. “What is it?”
“I don't know, open it and find out.” He kissed my cheek and went toward the bedroom.
I sat with the wrapped gift in front of me. There was no card, or tag, I had no idea who it was from or what could be in the box. When I finally built up the courage to open it, I gently tore the paper. Inside sat the little locked wooden box with my name engraved on it. I frowned and pulled on the little lock just like I had done when I found the box, but it still wouldn't open. I was just about to yell to Brody when I flipped over the box and found a little key taped to the bottom. I had checked that, there had been no key before. I took the key and inserted it into the bottom of the little lock and turned it, hearing a little click, and the lock sprung open.
Inside sat a single envelope with my name on it. My hands started to shake as I picked up the envelope. I recognized the handwriting right away. I took a deep breath, the pit of my stomach rising into my chest, making me feel uneasy.
I pulled out the folded piece of paper, carefully unfolding it, staring down at Jackson's handwriting. I wiped away the tears that had clouded my vision, took a drink of my wine, and began to read.
My dearest Cass,
I'm glad this letter found its way to you, then again, I'm not. If you are reading it, it must mean I have passed, otherwise, you would never have been given this box. Cass, my love, my life, I hope I gave you everything you ever dreamed of while we were together. I hope never a day went by that I disappointed you or let you down. To me, you were perfect, my everything. I hope you know I loved you with all my heart.
I want to give you something, Cass, a last Christmas gift if you will. Perhaps you are still just as lost as the day I passed away. It's okay if you are, it will pass. What I want to give you is a confirmation that you are doing things right, I want to give you permission to start over. Regardless of where you are, let me give you this, Cass. Live your life, baby. Don't dwell on the fact I am not here anymore as I am always with you and will be with you, always. No matter what, I will be watching from above to see all your accomplishments, and I'll be beside you to help calm your fears until the next person comes to take my place.
Whatever you do, don't give up on your dreams. Please, don't ever let anyone take those away from you.
If the man who is going to take my place has already arrived or you are unsure about who he may be, listen to me. Love without abandon, be with someone who makes your soul hum, who can make you smile just by looking at you, who can turn you on just by touching you. Be with someone who takes the time to listen to every problem you have, no matter how small it is. If it matters to you, it should to them. Be with someone who understands the troubles you go through when you write because you are talented, Cass, I never told you that enough. Make sure he will help you work out plot troubles, comfort you when you kill a character, and he’s okay with it when you burn dinner because you are on a deadline. Lord knows, I ate lots of burned dinners.
Don't just settle, you deserve the world, Cass. The world I wish I could have given you. But since I can't, I promise you this. If you follow those steps, you will be given the world. I'm sorry I couldn't be the one to give it to you, and I guess that is how I have let you down.
I flippedthe letter over in my hand. That was it, that was all that there was. I could barely breathe as I dropped the letter into my lap, sobs shaking my whole body. There was no question in my mind who I needed to be with, I already knew, and Jackson had just confirmed it, he had answered my prayers.
* * *
I sat for a while,reading and rereading the letter before heading down the hall to find Brody. He was in his room, sitting on the edge of his bed, his back to the door. I leaned against the door frame, watching him for a few minutes. He didn't even know I was there or at least, I thought he didn't until he spoke.
“He was always planning, Cass, always. When we were alone, he was constantly worried about what would happen to you if anything should happen to him. It was like he had some freakish way of knowing he wasn't going to be around long.”
“You took that box from my dresser?”
“Yep. He told me what the box looked like and had given me the key. I had looked for it numerous times after he had passed away but could never find it. When I saw it that day you found it, I made sure to grab it and hide it when you were in the shower one morning. His instructions to me had been clear...When she meets someone, I want you to give it to her. The first Christmas they are together.”
