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"You must be Sophie," she greeted me with a smile, and then looked between Chase and me. "Would you mind holding Jessica while I get dinner on the table?"
"Oh no, I'm completely—" I couldn't even get the words out of my mouth before Jessica was plopped into my arms. I looked to Chase and then to the baby, and then to the back of Autumn who was already disappearing into the kitchen.
"Chase, I—I don't know...Here, you take her," I begged, holding Jessica out to him.
"No way. It will be good practice for you. You've got this." He grinned.
I could feel the panic starting to climb inside of me when we heard a booming hello from behind us. I turned in time to see Hunter come around the corner and shake hands with his brother. They exchanged a few words, while I stood paralyzed looking down at Jessica.
"Hey, Sophie, how you doing?" Hunter asked.
"I'm good, and you?"
"Good. Sorry, it’s pretty crazy around here today. Are you ready to eat? Autumn has been cooking all day."
"Starved," I said, repositioning a wiggling Jessica in my arms just in time for her to throw up right down the front of my shirt.
"Oh, God, so sorry about that," Hunter said, stepping in and taking her from me as I fought back puking myself.
Autumn came out of the kitchen carrying two bowls and took one look at me. "Oh, dear...come with me. I will get you another shirt." Autumn set the bowls down on the table and signaled for me to follow her as she started climbing the stairs.
Chase smiled at me and nodded as I followed Autumn upstairs. By the time I had gotten to the top of the landing, she had already found me a T-shirt, grabbed a towel from the hall closet, and showed me to the washroom. "Come on down when you are ready. I am so sorry about that. She has been feeling unwell for a few days."
"It's okay, no worries."
Autumn smiled at me and went back downstairs. I walked into the washroom and shut the door behind me and turned to look at myself in the mirror. My hands shook as I undid the buttons of my blouse. I ran the cloth under the water and cleaned my chest, then I filled the sink with warm water and soaked the blouse, working at the spot to get it clean. I slipped the T-shirt Autumn had loaned me on, rang the blouse out, and looked at my reflection in the mirror.
Who the hell was I kidding? I had no clue what the hell I was going to do with a baby. I was completely uncomfortable even holding her, and if I couldn’t even hold a baby, what the hell was I going to do with my own. I slammed my hands down on the counter and without warning the tears began to fall. I closed my eyes, and for the first time ever I began silently praying that I didn't end up getting pregnant.
A knock on the door startled me. I swallowed hard and turned the tap on, filling my hand with water and taking a sip. "Be out in a minute," I called, wiping the tears from my cheeks.
"Sophie, it’s just me. Everything okay?" Chase called out. "You've been up here a while. Everyone was getting concerned."
I took a deep breath and opened the door. Chase stood there, smiling, looking sexy as hell. As soon as he took a look at me and saw I'd been crying, the smile disappeared from his face. "What is wrong?"
He pushed me back and stepped into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him to give us privacy. As soon as he turned back to face me, I lunged forward, wrapping my arms around him and burying my face in his neck.
"Hey...hey...what is it?" he soothed as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against him, trying his best to comfort me.
I couldn't answer him. My throat was tight, and all I could do was cry. I cried because, no matter what anyone said, I was going to miss having Chase around the house. I was going to miss our nights together, our days together. I couldn't truthfully say I'd miss him because he was my best friend and he would always play a strong part in my life. I was more upset with myself, that I had allowed my feelings to take hold, and that in some strange way, I had fallen for him, and somewhere in those few minutes that I had held that baby, the realization came to me: I had decided to have a baby and deny that baby his father. Even though he said he wanted no part of it, I still didn't feel that it was fair. Regardless, Chase held me while I cried, and when I finally pulled away, he looked down into my eyes.
"Are you okay?"
"I will be. Sorry, I guess I was just feeling a little panicked. I was embarrassed," I lied.
"Hey, no problem. I get it. Hunter and Autumn get it. But I came up to tell you dinner is ready. So come on. You can leave your blouse soaking and come up and get it afterward."
"No, no, it’s okay. I will just fold it up and ask Autumn for a bag. You'll have to return her shirt to her."
"No worries. Come on." He waited until I folded my wet blouse, took my hand, and together we walked downstairs.
* * *
We drove back from Hunter and Autumn's in silence. We had enjoyed a great meal and talked for hours afterward, ending the evening with a game of cards. Chase pulled into the parking lot and cut the engine. He climbed out of the car and came around to open my door.
"Come, I'll walk you to the door," he said, holding his hand out for me to take. We walked hand in hand, and when we stopped outside the main door, I leaned in and kissed his cheek.
As soon as I backed away, he quickly stepped in and met my lips, kissing me hard. He was supposed to be going home tonight, but instead it only took me a few moments before I invited him up for a good-bye drink. As soon as the elevator opened on my floor, I found myself pressed up against the wall and Chase pressed into me. With his hands in my hair, his lips on mine, I eventually guided him down the hall and into my condo. The minute the door was shut, he took over, pulling my shirt over my head, picking me up, and wrapping my legs around his waist and carrying me to the bedroom.
