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My stomach shrinks from that, though. I know I shouldn't be thinking those negative thoughts, even though they pop into my head all the time. Tyler is not gonna hurt me; he loves me.
I never doubted that Tyler loves me; I know he does. He always protects me, helps me, and makes me feel like home with him.
But he's not in love with me, and I know that too. He loves me like I'm his sister, who he can share everything with.
I want him to look at me as a woman, which I am now since we both turned eighteen last week.
I put on white sandals with thin straps on my legs. Of course I thought I'd be wearing heels when Tyler saw me for the first time, but that moment has already happened. He also told me that we're going to take a walk and that he’s prepared a surprise for me.
When I walk downstairs, I hear Mom and Tyler talking. I stop for a second before entering the room. My heart is beating so fast, and I need to calm down.
"That's wonderful, Ty, your parents must be so proud of you!" Mom exclaims loudly, and I start listening more closely, trying to breathe as quietly as I can.
What is she talking about?
"Yes, they are," he says, but he doesn't really mean it. I can hear it in his voice. I know when he's lying even if I can't see him.
"Getting into an Ivy League university is so prestigious. I heard that Princeton has an amazing swim team." Mom continues even more enthusiastically without noticing that Tyler obviously doesn't want to talk about it.
"Yeah, that's the main reason I got in. They all think I am capable of going to the Olympics."
The second he finishes the sentence, I feel my heart go right through my feet.
Tyler is going to Princeton next year. This means all we have left are a few weeks of summer holidays.
But during these months, I'll have to take a couple of summer classes to finish up my graduation requirements. And he may leave sooner to find housing and other stuff.
But the main reason I am so upset is that I'll never be able to go with him. Yes, my grades are good, even better than his, but I can't attend Princeton because we just can't afford it. I know that, Mom knows that, and I'm sure Ty also knows that.
Of course, he shouldn't have to choose a college just to be near me. I went to Africa, and I didn't ask him.
But I had no choice, while he could at least talk to me before making a decision.
The only reason he might not tell me is if he doesn't want me to know.
What if he doesn't want me to be near him anymore?
I close my eyes for a second and take a deep breath.
And then I go into the kitchen.
I have only a couple of weeks to confess to Tyler that I love him.
But I can't do that because he probably doesn't love me back.
Chapter Six
Tyler
When Kylie enters the room, it seems like my heart stops beating. She smiles at me with that unbelievably warm smile I missed so much through all these months. The smile that makes me feel like home.
She's so fucking beautiful.
She's wearing a plain light blue silk dress that emphasizes her curvy body. She lost some weight, and I don't like it. She used to have the hottest curves I've ever seen, but she always wanted to be skinnier. Well, now I see her collarbones are sticking out, and that bothers me. I guess now I have to feed her more than she ate in Africa.
Despite how many times I told Kylie that she looks perfect, she always laughed in my face, telling me that I was lying to make her feel better, which I wasn't. I really loved her curves. I never liked that she tried to hide them behind baggy clothes, and I love how she dresses now.
My eyes drop from her full pink lips down to her neck and her shoulders. Her dress's thin straps are unable to hide the nude, mostly invisible straps of her bra.
