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"I'm sorry I lied," I say right away before it gets worse. “If I want you to trust me, I cannot continue like that. I kissed you because I felt passion, the kind I’ve never felt before. And when I saw how young you were, I got scared."
That's only half true. I got scared not only because she's young, but because she made me feel again, feel for real, and I wasn't ready for that.
"And I didn't check my students’ files," I add to be completely honest. "Only yours."
After I say that, I see a slight smile on her face, and I instantly smile back. Although she's not looking at me, I simply cannot resist myself, I've never seen someone that beautiful.
"How do you know what to do during a panic attack?" I ask, trying to change the subject.
She still looks into the distance while I watch her face intently. Her dark-brown hair flutters in the wind.
"My parents are doctors." She exhales, relaxing slightly, as if she was carrying a burden and now it's gone. "They taught me all kinds of first aid. Also, I used to have attacks myself, although they were asthmatic."
"You're an asthmatic?" I ask in surprise without thinking.
"Surprising, right?" She finally looks at me, and her huge brown eyes blink. "I went to swimming lessons because the doctors suggested it for improved lung function."
"Did it help?"
"Yes, I didn't have an attack for more than four years." She nods, shoving her hair behind her ears.
"That's amazing. Your parents must be so happy."
"Yeah," she scoffs and turns away to face the ocean again. "If they knew then that I'd want to become a professional swimmer and not a doctor like them, they would definitely change their mind."
I want to sayDon't say thatbut decide not to do so. I don't know her, much less her parents. My parents are kind and loving, but hers might be tyrants.
My heart squeezes at that thought. I don't want her to live in a family that doesn't respect her decisions or support her, or with parents who leave her alone for months.
I remind myself that I can do nothing about that. I'm nobody to her, not even her friend. But what I can do is my best to make her a champion.
"I know I acted like an asshole," I continue, "but if you forgive me, I promise that I will never hurt you again, in any way."
She looks at me, and I see that her beautiful eyes become sad again. I swallow. It's getting hard to breathe.
"Please forgive me," I whisper into her face.
Her lips part, and I instantly look at them. There's so much I would give to kiss her right now.
But I can't. And that's why I move my gaze back to her eyes.
"You need to practice, Gabi," I say, barely audible. "You're very talented, you can't quit now, you..."
"Okay," she whispers, and I stop talking.
I'm so shocked that I can't believe that it's for real. Am I imagining it?
"Okay," she repeats as if reading my mind, louder this time.
We simply stare at each other for a couple of seconds, and it seems like time stops. It feels as if there's nobody else but us in the whole world.
"I have to go to school now." She breaks the silence, and I come back from my dreams to reality. A reality I do not like.
"Sure, I'm going to go," I say and get up, reaching out a hand to help her. When she takes it, a slight current passes through us, and she looks up at me.
Yeah, I felt that too,I want to say but keep silent, turning away and pretending that nothing happened.
Chapter Fourteen
