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He could so easily sneak up on her right now and snatch her, take her back to his lair and give her the eternal kiss, set her free, make her his in both body and, eventually, soul. Break her mind and take possession of that, as well. But it didn’t feel right. He wanted it to be perfect.
Somehow, he knew that the moment would present itself tonight. Maybe not now, but later, for sure, shewouldbe his. He would finally be able to look her in the eyes. He wouldfinallybe seen. Because he knew she would see him. And while he knew the cops believed that giving him an identity would remove his power, to him, it would only make him a god.
Chapter 24
Hanlen
I didn’t know what to do with myself. Pacing the carriage house’s balcony and tugging at my hair, taking long drags from the flask, I tried to get myself under control. This was pain. It wasn’t truly anger, even though it presented itself that way. I didn’t understand any of this stuff. Maybe Ray had a good reason for not being able to let me know that she was fine. And Dev hadn’t kept the information from me about him being related to her on purpose, he simply didn’t think it was the right time to spill those particular beans. And I got that. I really did. Still, my heart and my head hurt, and I didn’t know what to do about any of it.
I heard the French doors behind me open and felt a presence at my back. I knew who it was.
“Are you okay?” Dev asked, his voice like melted chocolate.
“I don’t know,” I answered, being truthful. “This is a lot, Dev. When I came back to town, I didn’t believe in any of this. And while I can’t discount anything I’ve seen and experienced, having it shoved in my face like this in such a personal way is a lot to take in.”
“I know,” he said. “That’s why I didn’t say anything the other night when you told me Reagan’s full name. It just felt too . . . overwhelming. Even for me. I knew I’d get a chance to talk to you about it all later. But I didn’t expect Gunnie to be here.”
I rubbed my hands up and down opposite arms. “Yeah, I know. I do. Doesn’t mean my emotions aren’t all over the place.”
“I get that, too. I want to know what happened to her as much as you do. And it sucks that we can’t just get those answers. I want that almost as much as I want to find out who murdered my sister and stop this sicko from picking off people I care about. Thatyoucare about.”
“Fucking asshole.” It was the only thing I could think to say, and it felt right in the moment. Good. I turned to Dev, and the look in his eyes disarmed me.
“I’m sorry,” he said. And I knew he meant it.
“You really don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m sorry I stormed out of there. It was just a bit much. Did I ruin the shoot?”
“Not at all,” he assured me and moved closer, pulling me against his chest. I sighed and wrapped my arms around him, soaking in his strength. “Everybody else is still working, and the final product is the result of a bunch of careful editing to piece all the bits together into a narrative. We’ll get more footage later, too. It’ll all be good.” He kissed my head. “Promise.”
I pulled back a bit to look up at him. “Are you sure?”
He tucked my hair behind my ear as he so often did, and goosebumps erupted on my skin. “Absolutely. I should probably get back in there, though. We still have some things I need to finish up tonight in the main house. Are you all right?”
I rubbed my hands over my head, smoothing my hair back, and turned to look out at the yard and the manor. “I’m fine. You should get back to it. I just need a few minutes to compose myself if that’s all right. Did Ray leave?”
“She did. Something’s going on with her. She can’t communicate with me right now, and that’s never happened before. I’ll have to get to the bottom of it later. Actually . . .” He seemed nervous all of a sudden.
“What?” I asked.
“Would you mind if I borrowed your necklace for a bit? I’d like to see if me using it as a trigger object will help Larken and me tap into Gunnie’s energy better and speak with her. If it works, I promise we’ll come and get you immediately.”
I shrugged. “Sure. Of course. Just don’t lose it.” I pulled it over my head and puddled it in his outstretched palm.
“Thanks. It’s safe with me,” he said and tipped up my chin. With a lingering look, his ocean-water pools took me in, and I felt my muscles loosen. He leaned in to kiss me, and I knew in that moment that he was mine. And I was his . . . if he’d have me.
“I’d better get,” he said. “Are you going to be okay? Be able to make it back to the main house all right yourself once you’re ready?”
“Yeah, I’m good. Get. I’ll see you in a few.” I rose on tiptoe and kissed him again, the words I wanted to say on the tip of my tongue. But it didn’t feel like the right time. I could tell him later when we were alone. When we could talk about it, and I could better gauge his mood and response. We had a lot of things to talk about if he was receptive to us being together, but that all could wait.
For now.
He ran his hand from my shoulder to my palm and let my fingers slip through his as he walked away, severing our connection at the very last moment. I hugged myself again and watched him go and then turned back to the woods, looking at the trees and the moon high in the sky.
This trip had been one of many discoveries. Not the least of which was the core of who I was. I’d started this journey as a single-minded, jaded skeptic with no desire to be anything more and no care for what people thought of me, to someone who was now coming to believe in things beyond explanation and searched out human connection.
I waited another few minutes with some deep breathing and a few more sips of whiskey for courage, then headed downstairs and out the back door of the carriage house.
Just as I was rounding the corner, I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head, and my legs slipped out from under me. I saw the grass rushing up with dizzying speed as the flask fell from my fingers to clatter on the pavers.
