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He turned his body toward me. “Wren, I had to force myself to stop. Because every time I watched you, I got really caught up in it.” He closed his eyes a moment. “All I wanted to do at night for much of that first year was watch you play. It was unhealthy.”
I fought back more tears as my old wounds burst open. “Did you stop when you met Morgan?”
He swallowed. “It was around the same time, yeah. I’m sorry you had to meet her like that last night.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You’re doing exactly what you should be. I want you to be happy, Dax. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. We decided a long time ago that it wasn’t going to work between us. So none of this is a surprise. I just need to get used to it.”
He stared down at the steering wheel. “What made you come back when you did? Rafe had told me you’d decided to stay out there indefinitely. Then suddenly you’re back. What changed?”
Well, I found out you loved me, and I needed to see you again. Now I feel lost. I cleared my throat. “It was just time. Rafe said he wished I’d come back, and he reminded me that soon he’d be going away to college, which will mean four more years of being apart the majority of the time. That swayed my decision.”
“That makes sense.” He nodded. “Was France everything you hoped it would be?”
“It really was.” I smiled. “I was homesick, of course, in the beginning. I missed you a lot—more than I let on through our correspondence. But time went by, and eventually I became acclimated to my new life there. You know from our early emails that I was dating. But nothing lasted. I tried to move on, though. And I always expected you would, too.” I paused. “What we had was special, even if it had to be short-lived. But if we can’t be together, I still want you to be happy. It seems you are…with Morgan.”
He searched my eyes, not quite seeming to buy what I was selling. “I guess we have to try to find a new normal, whatever that is.”
“Yeah,” I whispered. “New normal.”
He tapped the steering wheel. “I should probably start this fucking car, huh? I’m not even thinking straight, yet again. Haven’t been since last night.”
“Yeah. We should go—especially considering my father has been at the window the entire time.”
He looked over at the house. “Shit, you’re right.” He squinted. “You don’t happen to notice a shotgun in his hand, do you?”
We shared a much-needed laugh before Dax finally started the car and pulled away from the curb.
At one point, he glanced over at me. “I don’t know if Rafe mentioned that he won the state running championship? He also broke the school record for best time.”
I nodded. “Yes. I’m so proud of him.”
“Did he mention I’m throwing him a party next weekend?”
“He didn’t.”
“I invited his team over, along with the coaches. I’m just doing a big, catered barbecue. I know he’d love it if you were there.”
As awkward as it would be to see Morgan again, I couldn’t miss Rafe’s party. “Okay. Thanks for the invite. I’ll definitely be there.”
“Good.” He flashed a smile, and it took me back for a moment. My heart clenched. My mind went to the time he’d carried me home—our first and last date.
When we got to the restaurant, we were somehow able to bury the tension between us as we summarized the past two-and-a-half years for each other. I told him about the people I’d met, like my friend Micheline. Detailed my quirky little neighborhood and the delicious foods I’d enjoyed. I even described the two men I’d dated most seriously, Alec, an artist who lived in my building, and Pierre, a chef I’d met at a farmers’ market in Paris. Neither brief relationship went anywhere, but each man now had a small part in the story of my life.
Dax recalled for me how much his relationship with Rafe had grown. While things weren’t perfect, the situation was a lot better. As painful as it was, I asked him about how he’d met Morgan, and he told me the story of how they’d reached for the same book in a bookstore. While that left me a little nauseated, Morgan seemed perfect for him—on paper, at least. Dax seemed happy with her, but I hadn’t been around them long enough to know whether that was really the case.
When our conversation had run its course, some of the earlier awkwardness seeped back in. We sat across from each other, out of words to form a shield for the tension between us.
I looked down at my phone. “I actually have to head back. I’m supposed to be picking Rafe up for dinner in an hour.”
