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Having an idea of what was going on made her more receptive to Alexander’s doting. The reason why her emotions were in a mess became obvious. If she was correct, then she had too much to think about, and there was no room to be worried about Isabella. She made up her mind not to let the words of a stranger stop her from being happy in her marriage.
Caroline waited until Alexander was out of the house to call a physician, careful to not tell him what she suspected yet. Not only did she not know how he would react to the news, but she was not sure yet. She did not want to get his hopes up only to have them dashed.
“Polly, please let Mrs. Beagle know that I require the services of a physician,” she said to her lady’s maid, who had come running the moment she rang.
“Yes, milady,” Polly curtsied and left to do as she had been bid.
It was not long before Polly returned with Mrs. Beagle and an old, respectable-looking man. She sat up quickly, nervous now that he was here.
“Perhaps you should lie back down, Lady Caroline,” the physician bade. Mrs. Beagle introduced him as the family physician and let Caroline know she would be just outside the door before leaving.
The old man walked toward her and set his bag down on the floor by the bed. He leaned over her and raised her eyelids up, to peer into her eyes, then he took her hand in one of is and pressed two fingers to check for her pulse.
“How have you been feeling lately, Lady Caroline?” he asked, her hand still in his grasp as he checked her.
“Sick and nauseous for days. I empty my stomach frequently, sometimes due to certain smells,” Caroline replied quickly. The physician continued with his evaluation of her, his face devoid of any emotion and not giving her any indication as to what the problem might be. Caroline stilled herself, waiting for the question she knew would come.
“Hmm, you do not seem to have a fever… and your skin is not clammy,” he muttered to himself, before looking up at her. “When was the last time you saw your monthly flow of blood?” he asked.
“It has been two months,” Caroline replied, shutting her eyes nervously. It was rather obvious at this point, really. Alexander might not have pieced it together since he had never seen his mother pregnant, but Caroline had. She was able to pick up on the patterns.
“Congratulations, my Lady. It seems you already know, but you are most certainly with child,” the physician said. “I will give the housekeeper a recipe that should be prepared for you, to help with the nausea.”
Caroline felt like her ears were ringing and she barely heard a word after that. She gave the old man a smile and a nod, and he left the room. She could hear muffled conversation outside her door as he told them what to prepare for her.
Caroline lay there and stared at the ceiling. A suspicion was different from a confirmation. Now there was no doubt anymore and the reality of it all hit her with a vengeance. She touched a hand to her stomach. It was still flat. There were no signs of the life that was now growing inside of her.I am going to be a mother.
Caroline was still in a daze and did not know how long she had been lying there when a knock came on her door. She looked down as Barnaby stepped in. “Is something the matter?” she asked.
“Ah, no, my Lady, the physician handed me this note as he left and asked me to hand it to you once I was able,” he said, looking uncomfortable. Caroline waved him over and he handed her the note.
Lady Caroline,
I noticed youwere struggling. It is imperative to stay healthy during this time. Please, banish anythingthat is bothering you out of your mind. Your child is most important.
Caroline sighed. Even the physician, who she had met for the first time today could sense her inner turmoil. He was right. She had to focus on her baby. She had no time to entertain useless doubts. She was about laying back down when she noticed that Barnaby was still staring at her.
“Barnaby, is something wrong?” she asked. He seemed to catch himself then.
“Oh! No, my Lady, all is well. I am merely worried,” he quickly said, pausing for a moment before asking. “Are you going to be alright, my Lady?”
Caroline looked closely at him when she heard the worry in his voice. She was moved by the look of deep concern she saw in his eyes.
“You do not need to worry about me, Barnaby. I will be all right,” she said. Caroline sighed as Barnaby nodded and turned away from her, returning to the duty she had assigned him, but not before she saw the worry still clear as day in his eyes. She had wanted to inform Alexander of the news first before anyone else found out, but as she watched the valet make his way out of the room, she wondered if she should tell him, if only to get rid of the worry he felt.
She made up her mind and chose to tell him, “I am not sick, Barnaby, I am with child.” she waited for the reaction the news would elicit in him, feeling slightly unsure of herself at the moment.
She watched him pause in his footsteps, her words causing a strong reaction in him. He turned to face her, and Caroline saw the changes in him as the worry in his eyes gave way to happiness. For a few seconds, he fought to control his expression and return to his normal professional self.
“Oh my! Congratulations, madam! The master will be very happy!” he said, “Master Alexander returned moments ago. He is currently in his study if you wish to share the news.”
Barnaby was all smiles even as he tried to maintain a professional front. There was an obvious bop in his step as he left the room.
Caroline touched her hand gently to her stomach and smiled a watery smile. She was overwhelmed with the multitude of feelings that flooded her brain. On one hand, she was happy to have a new life forming inside of her, a mix of her and the man she had come to love, but she was also scared. This was a new life, a tiny being growing inside of her and she did not know if she was ready for it and for the changes it would bring into her life.
She let out a sound that was a mixture of laughter and fear. She was going to be a mother and that was the part that scared her the most. She did not want to make mistakes while trying to be someone she had no experience being.
She thought of the way Barnaby had reacted to the news of the baby and smiled. She had always found it funny how something so small and so dependent on the care of others could bring so much happiness and joy.
