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“Alice,” he began, his voice croaking. It was bizarre for her to hear her employer call her by her name as he had rarely spoken to her directly before. “I have things I must say before I die, and time is now of the essence.”
“I am at your service, Your Grace,” Alice said awkwardly. It was surreal to sit there, listening to the Duke speak frankly about his coming death while he held the hand of his long-time lover. Her mother’s eyes filled with tears and Alice felt sorry for her. She knew her mother genuinely loved the man. Even without the uncertainty of her future position in the household, his death would be difficult for her.
“No, please. You do not need to use my honorific,” the Duke said. Alice tried not to show her amazement. She looked up at her mother, unsure what she should do, but she only smiled tremulously.
“It is all right, my dear,” her mother said.
Alice nodded, thinking that she had never felt so uneasy. How could she possibly navigate such a strange situation? She was sitting with the man who had single-handedly ruined her childhood. Everyone in the Duke of Fitzroy's household knew of his affair with his housekeeper. As a result, Alice had been ostracized by the other servants for as long as she could remember. The staff either resented her mother's position or looked down upon her for having inappropriate relations with the Duke. These feelings trickled down to Alice. Her lot in life didn't improve until the duchess passed away about six years ago, and Alice had won the respect of the cook during the elaborate funeral preparations. Being the cook's assistant had given her a modicum of power that she had relished.
“I have made many mistakes, and I must make them right, even if it has been too long in coming,” The Duke whispered.
“We all make mistakes, my love, but you are rectifying them now, and that is what matters,” her mother murmured, making Alice almost reel back in shock to hear such an endearment. While she knew her mother loved the Duke, she never understood why she let the affair go on for so long. Except if it was to ensure their continued employment. But Alice had never thought it was worth the harm to their reputations. She despised the fact that their livelihood was tied to the whim of the man who used her mother for his own pleasure. She had always believed that it was preferable to have a lower position in another household and be respected than to stay in her thereand be scorned. But, no matter how much her daughter begged, her mother was too in love to leave.
“I have been unkind. I have made decisions that have destroyed the joy of others, but I hope that I leave this earth at least making one thing right,” the Duke said. He leaned his head against the pillow and looked at Alice. She was surprised to see tears welling in his weak eyes. She had no idea what to say, for how could she comfort him? He had a ruthless reputation. It was one of the reasons she had always been so frustrated with her mother’s decision to continue their relationship. Alice had never once looked at the Duke of Fitzroy and seen anything in him that was worthy of admiration.
“It is… important to make amends for past wrongs,” Alice said hesitantly, feeling as if they were both waiting for her to say something. Surely a clergyman should be here to hear his confessions and not the daughter of his mistress.
“Yes it is,” the Duke sighed and looked toward her mother. “And as part of doing that, I have finally married your mother, Alice.”
Alice just stared blankly at the absurd announcement. Her thoughts returned to a time when she was younger. Alice had immature thoughts of a new life when she first learned that the gentleman her mother had been in love with for so long was, in fact, their master. She expected the Duke to divorce his wife and marry her mother. That theywould live above stairs and be content. That she might have a real father. Of course, these childish fantasies were swiftly dashed by the reality of their world. A duke had his duchess for status and appearances and his mistress for pleasure. It was then that Alice understood men's selfishness and the world's cruelty to women. She was brought back to the present when her mother began speaking.
“The Bishop of Coventry, an old friend of the Duke's, came today with a special license and performed the ceremony before witnesses,” her mother said gently. Seeing the look of incredulity on her daughter's face, she added, "We are indeed married, Alice."
“Should have done it years ago,” the duke coughed out, his face turning red with the effort to speak. "But at least now you will both be able to live the lives you deserve."
What does that mean?Alice wondered, unable to process his words. She couldn’t fathom what other life a servant could deserve than the one they led.
“Isn’t it wonderful, Alice?” her mother gushed. “Finally, we can be together, as we always should have been.”
Alice smiled tightly. Of course, she knew she should be happy for her mother. She was now, if only for a short time, the Duchess of Fitzroy. After the Duke died, she would presumably be looked after by whoever the Duke's heir turned out to be, though she had no idea who that could be because he had no son. But Alice could only think about the attention this action would bring them. They would be avoided by both the servants they had previously worked with and the ton. Society would never accept a former lady's maid, no matter how high her position had risen. They would not fit in either world.
“You do not seem pleased, Alice,” the Duke whispered, fixing his eyes on her with shrewdness.
“Forgive me, Your Grace,” Alice stammered, fiddling with her fingers in her lap. “I am, of course, happy for my mother. She has cared for you for so long that this development is indeed wonderful for her. But I hope you will forgive me for saying that it does not truly have anything to do with me."
“Alice,” her mother said. She looked supremely uncomfortable but took a deep breath. “There is something I must tell you.”
“Something that we must tell you,” the Duke added and gently squeezed her mother’s hand. Alice felt a sense of trepidation rising up through her. She felt the sudden urge to stand up and flee the room so that she might avoid whatever they were about to say next. She was unprepared for further life-changing announcements. Yet she could not move.
“Alice, do you remember what I told you about your father?” her mother asked. Alice’s heart lurched, and beads of perspiration began to form at her temples.
“You have only said that he was a naval officer and died at sea shortly after I was born,” Alice said mechanically; she simply repeated the only story she had ever been told. She clenched her hands in her lap, knowing that whatever happened next would shatter that illusion of her parentage.
“I lied,” her mother said shortly, wanting to get the confession out. “I am sorry. I know that lying to you about your father was an unforgivable sin, but I didn't feel I had any choice.”
Alice did not know if the lie was unforgivable, but she sensed that this was not the worst part of her mother’s confession. She sat immobile. Helpless to stop what would happen next. Only her eyes, darting between her mother and Duke, showed her growing distress.
“It did not give you a choice, Esther,” the Duke whispered. “I forced your hand, and for that, I am sorry. I should have done better by you both.” Alice's mother brought her hand up to the Duke's cheek, and they gazed into one another's eyes for a moment.
"Why was I lied to?" Alice demanded, drawing their attention back to her. She did not want to hear the answer, but she knew it was inevitable. A wave of rage welled up inside her. Her mother had been lying to her for her entire life, and the Duke had forced her to. This was just one more confirmation that men were vile creatures who only cared about themselves.
“Because your grandfather would have cut your father off had he known of your existence,” her mother whispered.
'Why would he do that?"
"Because the family was of high status," Alice's mother said.
Alice pursed her lips, her anger bleeding through. Her grandfather was another man who believed his sex and birth entitled him to trifle with the lives of those he considered beneath him.
