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Her dad, Felix freaking Fallon, is on his way here now.
I think about the last time I saw him, sitting in the back of the cab at the airport as he said goodbye to Lola. I saw the love in her face and in his, even if his usual gruff demeanor masked it. But there was a glisten in those pale green eyes, and I found myself thinking truly insane things.
Will he look at our children that way?
That’s when I forced myself to look in a different direction, even if every single piece of me wanted to drink in as much of Felix as I could before he left.
“Maybe I should scram for a little while,” I say. “I don’t want to be in the way.”
“In the way of what?” Lola laughs. “Dad won’t mind you’re here, honestly. He’s just swinging by to say hello, and then I bet he’ll want to go straight to the studio. Or his office. Or some other work thing.”
There’s a tiny note of resentment in her voice. It’s buried beneath mounds of respect and love, but it’s there.
It’s no secret that Felix is massively dedicated to his work, often seeming absent when he’s doing something unrelated to photography, scouting locations, or brainstorming new ideas.
I offer Lola a smile, thinking about Felix’s work, the raw brilliance of it.
He has a way of choosing the most devastating photos when he’s on location, painting them in a blunt and realistic way. But he also has a talent for making everyday things interesting, sometimes with something as simple as camera placement.
“He must’ve missed you,” I say. “He’s coming straight here.”
She nods. “Yeah, I missed him too.”
So did I, I say silently, knowing I can’t voice it, can never voice it.
I’ve been strong for so long.
I’ve never touched myself thinking about Felix, even when the temptation was almost impossible to resist.
I’ve never written him a love letter, a secret note, or even encased our names in a hand-drawn love heart.
It’s going to be tough, but I’ve got no choice. I have to resist him.
Lola deserves better than her best friend pining after her dad.
One thing will save me, though. I’m not sure whether to be relieved or cry, but no way would Felix ever want me.
