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Sebastian
As the door shut behindme, the magic of the day still flowed through me. Today was a look into what a relaxed day would be between us and I loved every minute of it. With my job, they would be few and far between, but it would be nice to have someone to come home to. Nothing would be better than a nice warm bed especially if Camilla was in it with me.
So many dreams about what a night with her would be like and my gut was telling me to wait. Hell, I wanted to punch myself. What was I thinking back there?
The drive home was spent maneuvering around the bulge in my pants that would need to be released once I got home. I felt like a teenager again, just getting a random boner for the first time. Grown ass men didn’t get random boners like this, and she was the cause. Maybe I should’ve stayed and let her take care of me, but no instead I had to go and listen to that gut of mine.
The door to my house was only ten feet away, and I was thankful that no one was outside to witness the obvious bulge. A quick side to side glance while unlocking my door and slipping inside told me no one saw me.
My mind suddenly went back to her fingertips running through my hair and her body rocking against me making me grow harder.Fuck. I flung my head around,Stop it.
It took an extreme amount of self control in that moment to say no, but it was the right one. We already have a strong connection, both mentally and physically, but sex would be taking the next step and I don’t know if I was ready for that. Nothing against Camilla, she’s perfect but my job was extremely demanding. Did I have enough time to blossom a new relationship? I wanted to shout from the rooftops, yes, but without being a hundred percent certain, I can’t risk losing her again.
She ran across my mind plenty of times during the years we spent apart, and the concoctions I made up about what I would do when I saw her again didn’t bleed true. It was so much more complicated than that. This was real life and I had to be careful for both of us.
I could barely keep my eyes open from exhaustion when my phone buzzed. I knew who it was without having to look. Was she still frustrated with me about my decision? Her face when I told her we were going to wait surprised me. It was like I was holding out on her, which made me chuckle inside, because I would love nothing more than to rip her clothes off. My mind worked in mysterious ways and it just kept going back to what would happen if we rushed into and fucked up what we’ve become because we had sex too soon. I shook my head thinking, maybe it just meant that I had strong feelings for her and didn’t want to take any chances ruining what we’ve had for all these years. There’s a reason we were both still single and she ended up back here. It had to be fate pushing us together one last time to make it work. Right?
Camilla: Did I do something wrong?
Fuck. That’s the last thing I wanted her to think. It was all me. What could she possibly be telling herself that she did wrong? That’s one thing I’d like to know. Why do women always assume they did something wrong? It might not be all women, but everyone I’ve come across, it’s the first question they jump to. I’ve always wondered why?
Me: No, not at all. Why would you think that?
Camilla: ??? Then why’d you shove me off you? Your body was saying the complete opposite of your words. You’re so confusing, and it’s irritating the shit out of me!
I was aware of how my body was reacting, just like any man's body would when a beautiful woman was grinding on him. My eyes closed and a loud sigh ensued trying to figure out how to reply. Nothing but honesty.
Me: I really like you... we are finally back in each other’s lives, and I want to make sure we don’t rush into anything. Believe me, I wanted to... Badly... But something was telling me to wait.
Camilla: Seriously?! We’ve known each other for over twenty years. I’d hardly call that rushing it. Besides you’d been in for the night of your life had you not shoved me off... I had to take care of myself... I’d much rather have had you... ;)
It twitched. This girl knew how to get me riled up. She did make a good point though. It made me think long and hard about what to do next. I couldn't sabotage my second chance with her. I ran my fingers through my hair.Fuck it.
Me: Okay, okay. Breathe. I know you want me, but...
Camilla: But what?
Me: I can’t wait to feel your hands on me. That doesn’t mean it has to be tonight. Or tomorrow.
Camilla: I mean I wouldn’t be opposed to tonight by any means. Still in the same spot you left me, wishing you were here.
It twitched again. She hadn’t moved since I left? Was she laying down thinking of me? All hot and what not? A low growl erupted from my throat and suddenly I wanted to jump in my car and drive over there. Give the woman exactly what she so desperately wanted and needed, but instead I think the waiting game was amplifying the sexual tension between us, which would only make the sex that much better.
Me: I’m headed to bed. Sleep well, gorgeous.
I ended the conversation there, leaving her wanting me more.
***
THE ER WAS GRUELINGtoday. The thing that sucked most about springtime was the fact that we were flooded with victims of household or gardening tool accidents. Normally, when it’s nice outside people like to garden, trim hedges, or whatever else and didn’t know how to properly use the tools they were wielding. Needless to say, so far I’ve seen someone who drilled through their finger, crushed their fingers with a hammer, chain link got hit by a weed eater and came back for revenge. One day I’m going to write a book about the crazy patients I’ve seen in my days. Maybe when I’m older and closer to retiring.
Me: I’m dealing with household injuries today galore. You?
She sends me an attachment, I open it. A picture of her desk covered in papers with a note:Long day ahead.
Me: Still mad at me for wanting to wait?
Camilla: I felt rejected, and I’m not used to that. Still a little pissed. If it was the other way around, you wouldn’t have been pleased either.
