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Suddenly, she recalled last night’s conversation at the Community Center. Birdie watched with growing horror.
“Excellent,” Pinkie said with a firm nod of her gray curls. “Birdie, I’m handing my razor over to you to demonstrate how one shaves their hoohaw.”
Birdie’s eyes were now wide for a very real reason, as the women all leaned forward as if she were about to divulge insider trading information.
The women passed the torch of the Daisy razor to Birdie. “Like, a real step-by-step demonstration?”
Pinkie waved her off. “Of course not, that would be inappropriate. Just talk us through it with your clothes on and your legs open. We’ll get the gist.”
Cora Leigh interrupted by asking, “Would this be contraindicated if I’m,” she leaned toward Birdie and whispered, “…dealing with hemorrhoids?”
Before Birdie could rid her mind of that disturbing visual, another lady piped up, “What about preventing in-grown hairs? Can I spray Barbasol down there or will it burn?”
Then, Erma spouted her own cautionary tale. “I heard about a woman who tried doing this and shaved off her clitoris.”
“Okay!” Birdie jumped back in her chair, concluding she had a better chance of racing through this outrageous demo than talking them out of it.
The room quieted. Birdie felt a twinge of authority at having the undivided attention of many of the women who, at one time in her misspent youth, shunned her.
“I’m only doing this once. So be quiet and pay close attention.”
Primly, with every rheumy eye on her, she pushed her plate of food toward the center of the table and lifted one crepe de chine covered leg, setting her ankle on the table with her knee to the side.
If there was ever a silver lining in all of this, it was she didn’t have to worry about hidden cameras capturing the moment for Wayward’s viewing pleasure. She might be spitballing, but she’d bet money she didn’t have that no one in the room knew how to do more with their smartphones than take photos of shirtless men.
Therefore, twenty minutes later, with those few women mimicking her instructions with the hip flexibility to do so, she concluded her tutorial and set the demo-razor on the table.
To Birdie’s relief, Pinkie announced the demonstration was enough for one day and to prepare for tomorrow morning’s discussion where they would share ideas for their TikTak thingy.
Before adjourning, Cora Leigh raised her hand and asked Pinkie, “Do we need to purchase Tic Tacs prior to tomorrow and if so, is there a flavor preference?”
On that note, Birdie waved goodbye to the ladies with the excuse she had to get dressed and pack her things.
The women all groaned their discontent at her leaving. Erma jumped up with concern written all over her face. That scared Birdie a little bit due to the one-eighty from just the previous day when she had accused her of stealing an antique candy dish that sat at the front desk and was now mysteriously missing. “But Mr. MacGavin just registered. We all would just hate to see him… I mean, y’all leave.”
In other words, they would hate to see Angus, their age-appropriate Scottish piece of man candy, depart the premises.
“Oh, Angus is staying, and I’m moving to one of Lucas’s properties down the street. I’ll still be available, upon occasion,” she stressed. “For a few of your morning breakfast meetings.”
Because for real, free food of this quality and serving size wasn’t anything to walk away from.
At least ten sets of shoulders simultaneously lowered at the knowledge their Jamie Frazier doppelgänger, of an advanced age, would not be deserting them
