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21
Lucas was rattled.
No, that wasn’t it.
Off-kilter.
Closer… but not quite on the mark.
How about spinning out of control?
Nope. Not gonna happen. The thought was completely unacceptable.
Under no circumstances would he allow Birdie Wellborn to unravel him or to be the cause for him to lose control.
So he sat on a weight bench with his head in his hands, leaning his elbows on his thighs, stuffing away any remnants of sentimentality, sheer reverence, or any other misplaced emotion deep down into the recesses of his lizard brain. So low as to never again see the light of day.
It wasn’t earth-shattering that he finally held her in his arms and did that thing he dreamed of doing… that reverent thing. No not reverent, the opposite of that… irreverent, that less than worshipping, irreverent thing.
Where her skin tasted like an aphrodisiac soaked in arousal-infused honey or that her moans made him feel ten thousand feet tall and indestructible.
No. It was nothing like that.
Because the truth was, if he went down the primrose path of making her his, then it would be all the more life-altering when she left.
And when people didn’t belong to you, you didn’t miss them. Pine for them. You didn’t stay awake at night, staring at the ceiling, with one hand behind your head as the other went to town on your dick.
Don’t think about it. Don’t romanticize the act.
It was sex. That’s all. Sex with a woman he fantasized about for over half his life.
Just sex.
Done.
Slapping his hands on his thighs with renewed resolve, he locked the door to the garage behind him and walked into the house.
Mia must have been in her room, so he took the reprieve to shower quickly and change into a pair of sweats and a T-shirt. Refusing to reminisce on what happened earlier. Denying any new unwanted feelings to crop up.
Trotting down the stairs, he spotted Mia with her back to him, sitting on the sofa reading something on the new smartphone he’d shelled out a shitload of money for.
“Hey, kiddo,” he said, leaning down and kissing her on the top of her head.
He took a moment to catch the words on the screen, before she’d had a chance to remove it, and did a double take when he read “vow of chastity.”
What in the world was she doing looking up vows of chastity?
“Have a good day?” he asked, trying to make conversation as he considered the website she had gone to. Maybe it was some trailer for a horror movie that involved a religious theme, some priest gone bad or something?
Jesus, maybe he should be monitoring the movie trailers she viewed on her phone. Some of them were rather risqué. Weren’t there parental software programs you could purchase for that?
She looked up at him with a wide, angelic smile on her face. “I did have a good day. Can we go to church on Sunday?”
Whoa, okay that was unexpected.
“Church,” Lucas repeated, more a statement than a question.
“Yeah, I’d like to explore having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.”
