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I hurriedly button my collar, and most of the wound disappears beneath the violet fabric. With some luck, the Blood Balm will work quickly and not even the faintest trace of the injury will remain.
My attention snags on the rags around my wrist. The mark beneath is hidden, though the cloth does nothing to rid me of the wrongness crawling over my skin. If only there were a way of healing that, too.
I perch beside Zephyr, who lies curled up on the end of my bed, and dip my fingers into the Blood Balm. I go to rub it across his injured wing, but he shrinks away.
“It’s only Blood Balm for your wound.”
Zephyr doesn’t inch closer. He looks up with an accusatory look in his bright, jewel-like eyes.
“I know you must hate me for what I’ve done, but what choice did I have? Arluin defeated my father so easily, and I don’t possess even a fraction of his power. Without the Void Prince, I’ll never stand a chance.”
Zephyr only stares at me.
“He took everything from me, and he’s still out there with his army of undead. There’s no knowing what he will do next. Who else he will hurt. And he has my father. I can’t let him be violated like this. He would never forgive me if he knew what I’ve let Arluin do to him.”
My faerie dragon tilts his head, considering my words.
“As for the Void Prince, I promise he won’t hurt you. He’s bound to my will and must obey my every command. You’re safe.”
I reach out for him again. “Now let me rub some Blood Balm onto that wing. You’re the only one I have left now, so I need you to be okay.”
This time Zephyr doesn’t move away from me and lets me apply a thick coat of Blood Balm to his injured wing. When I’m done, I screw the lid back on the tin and pause, peering down at the small container. I can see my distorted reflection in the metallic surface and the dark circles hanging from my eyes.
“And . . .” I whisper, not looking up as I speak. “And I hope in time, you can forgive me for the choices I’ve made.”
Zephyr stays silent. He doesn’t so much as growl. I know he’s still furious with me.
And maybe he’s right to be. I broke all the Arcanium’s teachings by using dark magic to summon the Void Prince—I even forfeited my soul—and I don’t know whether the demon will be enough to destroy Arluin, his necromancers, and all his undead. Maybe I’ve made a terrible mistake, but what else could I have done?
I haul myself from my bed and return the Blood Balm to the topmost drawer of my counter. I’m not sure why I bother tidying it away. Soon I’ll be leaving, and this might be the last time I ever enter my room.
That thought hits me like a blow to the gut.
When I’m gone, what will happen to Nolderan? To my manor? Our home has been in the Ashbourne family for over a thousand years, as long as Nolderan has stood. What of my mother’s paintings and the crystalline goblets that have been passed down generation after generation?
I cover my face with my palms, not wanting Zephyr to see my anguish.
Step by step, I led Nolderan to its destruction. My short-sightedness—my stupidity—caused all this. Why should I be allowed to live when someone as innocent as Eliya isn’t?
Thick, hot tears swell. I bite them back with so much force it dizzies me.
I can’t cry.
I can’t break.
Through blurry eyes, I turn to the lonely city stretching out beyond my window. The cobalt rooftops merge into undulating waves.
I step forward and press my palm against the glass. It feels like a sheet of ice, but I don’t pull away. I stand there transfixed, imagining it being torn apart by looters. I can’t allow Nolderan to succumb to such a fate, but neither can I stay. Not when Arluin is out there, unpunished, and with Father’s corpse under his thrall.
But I must do something for Nolderan. After all it has suffered because of me, it deserves that much.
I turn to the crystalline staff resting against my armchair, and the seeds of a plan take root.
Father used his staff to deactivate the Aether Tower, so the two must be linked. The only problem is I don’t know how to activate it. In all my twenty-one years, I’ve never once seen the tower switched off. Maybe Father alone wouldn’t have the strength to turn it on and would have needed all three Archmagi.
I’m not sure I’ll be strong enough to reactivate the Aether Tower, but I must try. If I’m successful, power will spread across the city and all the enchantments will return, and my manor and the Arcanium will be protected. And maybe I can use its energy to activate more powerful defenses.
The best place to find such information is Father’s office. I can’t be certain I’ll find the answers I seek, but I don’t know where else will be better to look than there. I’ve never once set foot inside the Grandmage’s office, and all I know is it’s on the highest floor of the Aether Tower and Father used to spend much time inside it. I may find nothing, but I have to look before leaving Nolderan.
