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“In high school, I was a cheerleader. That was how I viewed myself. I became the stereotype. Without realizing it, I was mimicking what I thought people saw me as. I never questioned who I was. Then we graduated, and I was no longer the cheerleader. I felt lost. So, I took on the role of Alfonso’s fiancée. I took that as who I was. I threw myself into the role. I learned how to cook, how to stitch wounds. Everything I thought I needed to be to become his wife. I recreated myself once again. Then, the carpet was pulled out from under me, and I was no longer going to be his wife. When I lost my memory, for the first time in my life, I had no expectations of how I should be. I could be me. I didn’t feel like I had to alter how I thought, felt, or acted. I was simply able to be me. It’s freeing yet completely overwhelming, because I don’t know how to exist without a title, a role.”
I don’t know why I’m opening up to him. Especially since he looks to be ignoring me. But I need to explain myself. Saying it out loud solidifies it to me as well.
“So, are you changing yourself into a damsel in distress because the big, bad Romeo has you?”
I laugh. I can’t help it. “I think I already proved to you I’m no damsel in distress. I can handle myself. But to answer your question, no. I haven’t felt a need to change who I am.”
“Too stubborn to change for a Mancini, huh?”
The way he says it has me studying him. I honestly know nothing about him other than surface shit that’s common knowledge. He likes taking home a different girl each night. He gambles and isn’t afraid to go all-in.
“What’s your big gamble here, Romeo?”
He quirks a brow. “I thought it was obvious.” His eyes sear into mine. He has this strange way of making my heart flip-flop when he gives me this look.
“Must not be, if I’m asking.” I wish I had something in my hands to fiddle with. My body wants to squirm under his watch. I’m not used to anyone looking at me like this.
“My end game is you, Gia.”
I laugh, and he glares at me. His eyes grow a darker shade than normal. His lips turn flat before I watch his tongue draw along the inside of his mouth.
“This is me going all-in,” he says seriously.
He’s crazy.My lips fight to curve up.
Romeo bringing me here was my punishment for being a horrible sister. It’s for all the times I was blind outside of myself. When I only put myself first and couldn’t see past it. The closest people around me were going through so much, and I never saw it until it punched me in the gut. I should have seen it, felt it. Yet, I had no clue.
This should be hell. I don’t deserve the happiness that is circling my chest. Maybe I’m losing it. In less than an hour, I went from throwing knives, hoping to murder Romeo, to now watching a fire, because he also has a temper.
I’m messed up. We’re dysfunctional. But I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. I have found a new peace being here.
“Since I ruined our bed. Should we add it to the fire?”
Now, he smiles. “You’re a little psycho when you get mad. I’d hate to see what you’re like when you get jealous.” He pauses, and I get up. “Naw, who am I kidding? I’d enjoy it.”
It takes us a few minutes before shuffling the bed out of the house and into the fire. We both have stumps to sit on as we watch the flames in mostly silence. I keep breaking it. I can’t help it. I’ve never been very good at staying quiet.
“Are you scared of dying?”
“Thinking of new ways to kill me?”
I ignore his question. He’s only trying to deflect and not answer. “I wasn’t when I crashed your car. At the time, I kind of wished that I would die.”
“No, death doesn’t scare me. Finding someone who I can trust does. In this world, you’re only as good as the money you bring in. When you stop being useful, your life no longer matters. The key is to either stay useful or find someone who you trust to not kill you.”
