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His chin quivers. His gray eyes gloss over as he stares back at me. It hits me hard. All this time, I’ve kept him at arm’s length when, really, we share the same guilt. He gets it. He’s endured what I have, he’s battled my demons, but from the expression on his face, like me, he hasn’t slain them yet.
“Tyler protected you just like your mother. She didn’t give you away because she didn’t want you.”
“I know,” I whisper, shying away from his caring eyes.
“Hey.” His finger taps my chin. He tilts my head up, forcing me to look at him to confront him and the truth.
“You want to walk away? Walk away from her. Me? I told you before. I’m not going anywhere. Harper.” He strokes my chin with his thumb, lulling me with his hypnotizing touch. “Babe, I’m not going to leave like your dad or Tyler, but I will protect you. I will give my last breath for you just as your dad did for your little brother and Tyler did for you.”
“I don’t want you to!” I push his gentle and persuasive touch away. “I didn’t want them to! If they hadn’t, they’d still be here!”
“Oh, sweetheart.” He grabs my wrist and quickly draws me back to him.
My fight dithers as I fall for his persuasive, gentle voice and unyielding determination. I want to believe him. Trust him.
“You can’t change the past, but you can live the life they gave you to the fullest. Do what I’m sure they both would want.” He leans down close to my face. “Laugh, live, and love.”
“It’s too hard.” The truth expels from me. I can’t keep it inside any longer. He keeps pushing me. Making me confront my fears.
“Only because you make it that way, and do you know why you do that?” His eyebrow arches. “To protect yourself, but what you’re protecting yourself from is hurting you. It’s holding you back. It’s not allowing you to feel or love. You need to forgive the people you love and accept the gift they gave you.” He pauses for a second, and what he’s saying struggles to sink in. “If you stop running, you can be your own hero.” He brushes my hair back, tucking it behind my ear and sending warm, comforting shivers down my spine. “You can save yourself. Because as I said, I’m not your hero. You have got to do it.”
“I don’t want you to be my hero.”
“Well then, what do you want me to be?”
“I want you to be my, my— I don’t know.” I throw my hand in the air. “My boyfriend,” I spat like it’s something horrible.
It sounds so minuscule, but it’s true. I want him. I want his commitment to me. I want to know he belongs to me. I want to know I can hold, call, and touch him whenever I want. I need to know he’ll be there for me always.That we can slay our demons together.
“I can certainly be that for you, Harper James.”
“But you better do everything in your power to always return to me. I swear—” I wag my finger at him. “If you let anything happen to you, I’ll—”
He grabs my finger and wraps my arm around him. “I’ll fight any and everything that tries to get in my way.” His arm slithers across my back. He pulls me to him. He’s winning. He’s breaking me! “Including you and your stubbornness.” His head lowers to my mouth. “ Now kiss me,” he murmurs just before his lips touch mine.
And… he wins.
My heart breaks wide open.
I surrender to him. To us. To forever.
Chapter 43
I pull into the bar’s parking lot and get out. Lix’s SUV parks next to my truck, and he jumps out.
I walk over to him. “What are you doing here?”
“Brett called.” He crams his hands into his jacket pockets. “Said Cassie was here having some drinks and needed a ride. He’s caught up with the Lameer’s job. Asked me to pick her up.”
“I’m here to get Harper. She’s celebrating getting her new job. I didn’t know Cassie was here. I can take her home or…” I thumb at the bar. “Did you want to come in with me?”
He takes a quick look at his SUV. “I’ll stop in for a drink. So things going good with you and Harper?”
It’s been two months since we broke ground on our relationship, and I gotta admit, it’s going great.
“Yeah.” I nod, not wanting to jinx it.
She’s made amends with Willa. I even heard her call Willa Mom the other day. We went to Tyler’s grave. She seems to have made amends with him as well.
