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“Lily, what the hell?” They rushed over to me, helping me to my feet.
“What happened?” Peyton asked.
“L-Lindsey.”
“I’ll kill her,” she hissed. “I’ll fucking kill her.”
“No!” I grabbed her arm, sobbing hard. “I just want to get out of here… you have to get me out of here.”
“God, babe, yeah, okay.” Ashleigh checked the hall.
She went to the door and peeked her head out. “Coast is clear, but we’ll have to make a run for it.”
Peyton hugged me tight as we slipped out of the bathroom and hurried down the hall. The second we spilled out of the building, I felt lighter.
I felt like I could breathe again.
They ushered me into Ashleigh’s car, and she fired up the engine, backing out of the parking lot. Neither of them asked me anymore questions as I curled up on the seat and pressed my head against the cool glass.
As the panic attack subsided, I was left with a deep sense of shame. I didn’t want to be like this. Weak. Beholden to my emotions. But Lindsey had triggered the one memory that would always cause me a great amount of pain.
Ashleigh didn’t drive me home. She got drive-thru milkshakes instead and the three of us sat in her car down by the lake.
“How are you feeling now?” she asked.
“I’m okay.”
“Ready to tell us what happened?” Peyton said, and I didn’t miss the tremor of anger in her voice.
“Just Lindsey being Lindsey. I was in a stall and they were all talking. I waited until I thought they’d gone but she’d stayed behind.”
“Lily, you have to tell somebody.”
“N-no!” I blurted out. “Can you imagine what my dad will do if he finds out?”
“Good, let him,” Peyton scoffed. “She deserves it.”
“I don’t want to tell anyone,” I said firmly. “It will only make her worse.”
“Fine. Then we fight fire with fire. We go to Homecoming and show her that you, Lily Ford, are not going to let her win.”
My stomach sank. “Actually, about that,” I said, staring down at my hands. “I’ve decided I’m not going to Homecoming.”
“Lily,” Ashleigh said, pouting. “That’s the opposite of fighting. It’s letting her win.”
“I just can’t be there and watch her trying to seduce Kaiden. I can’t do it.”
“You know, you wouldn’t have this problem if you just came clean to your dad and—”
“Peyton,” I sighed. “I’m not ready.”
I couldn’t explain it to them, make them understand what it was like when your own mind was constantly the enemy.
“But why, babe? Kaiden is head over heels about you. He’s proved that time and time again.”
“Because… because I’m hopelessly in love with him.”
“You love him?” Ashleigh asked, and I nodded.
