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“Fine. But no swimming.”
“Suit yourself.” I heard the smile in her voice. “I’ll be over in ten. And Lily?”
“Yeah.”
“Good for you.”
* * *
Thirty minutes later,I found myself sitting on one of the Bennet’s pool loungers enjoying the last of the summer sun. Soon, crisp mornings would give way to cool days as the leaves turned brown and began to fall from the trees. I loved fall though. There was something relatable about it. The hodgepodge of color, being stuck somewhere between fading summer sun and fluffy autumn clouds. It was like being suspended between two worlds—a lot like my life.
“Cannonball,” Poppy yelled, taking a running leap into the pool. Water sprayed up around her and I smiled. My sister was such a goofball.
“You know I can do it ten times better,” Aaron appeared at the door to his shed, yanking off his t-shirt.
“Aaron, don’t you dare.” She smiled, swimming backward to give him room.
“Three, two…” He ran and jumped, tucking his body into a tight ball. The spray almost got me, but I scrambled back.
Ashleigh and Sofia were sitting on the edge of the pool with their feet dangling in the water, laughing and joking. The rest of the guys filed out of Aaron’s den. My heart did a traitorous little flip at the sight of Kaiden standing over by the door. His eyes slid to mine and moved right past me.
Well then. The little flutter of excitement I’d felt quickly sank into the pit of my stomach.
“Where’s Peyton?” Bryan asked.
“She’s at work,” Ashleigh said. “She might come over after she gets out.”
“Tell her I’ll make it worth her while.” He snorted.
“Dude,” Aaron balked. “It’s not that kind of party. Getting in?” he asked them. “The water’s good.”
Bryan looked to Kaiden, like they were asking him for permission. He shrugged. “I’m not getting in.”
“Oh, come on, spoilsport.” Bryan began stripping out of his clothes, and their other friend—Gav, I think—followed.
Kaiden let out a steady breath before dropping into a chair as far away from mine as possible. The permanent knot in my stomach twisted. I shouldn’t have come, that much was apparent. But rejection wasn’t the only thing I felt. I was annoyed at how he was being… all because I was Coach Ford’s daughter. It coiled around my heart like barbed wire. Sharp and deadly.
I hadn’t even realized I was watching him until his dark-gray eyes stared back at me. Time slowed down, suspending us in the moment. My breath caught, waiting for him to look away. But he didn’t drop his gaze… he just watched me. Staring as if he was trying to work out my deepest, darkest secrets.
Eventually, I looked away. I had to. His stare was too intense, and it only confused me.
“Come on, Thatch. Let loose once in a while,” Bryan said, splashing him.
“Fuck you, asshole.”
I flinched at his words, but they were said with a smile.
“Come on. You know you want to.”
Shaking his head, Kaiden laughed as he stood and began stripping out of his clothes. He was a sheer work of art, his body cut to perfection. Hard marble carved by the hand of an angel. Muscles stacked on muscles flexed and contracted as he whipped his t-shirt off his head. Somebody wolf-whistled, yanking me from my trance and I ducked my head, heat staining my cheeks.
Kaiden dived into the water and everyone cheered… and I sat there alone and forgotten. It wasn’t anything new, but it didn’t stop it from hurting. My friends tried to include me. Even when my mind wouldn’t let me participate, they tried to make sure I wasn’t left out. But it meant I spent my life on the fringe, watching but never experiencing. It was exhausting, to be the girl who couldn’t.
Exhausting and frustrating.
Like right now, I wanted to join them. I wanted to say to hell with it and get in the water. But all I could see was the hazards. Panic attacks and deep water didn’t go together. It was easier—safer—to stay on dry land.
It was also a hell of a lot lonelier.
