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My brow lifted higher and she rolled her eyes. “I’m not that bad.” The humor in her eyes dimmed to shame.
“Hey, I was joking. Besides, I’m totally here to appreciate the male form.” I glanced to where Kaiden was warming up. He looked so good in his shoulder pads and jersey. But it was even better knowing what was underneath.
“Lily Ford, are you blushing?” Peyton nestled into my side.
“He’s just so… dreamy.”
“Aww, you’ve got it bad, girl. Did you arrange to see each other again yet?”
“He wants to take me out this week.”
“But?”
“It’s just the sneaking around.” I didn’t want to share Kaiden with anyone, not yet, but I didn’t want to be the kind of girl who lied to her parents either.
“It’s new. You’re still figuring things out. Do you really want to tell everyone and then it doesn’t…” She trailed off.
“Doesn’t what?” My brows furrowed.
She pressed her lips together and glanced away.
“You don’t think it’ll become something more.” My stomach sank.
“That’s not… I just think you have to be realistic. He’s a football player, Lily. He’ll get a scholarship and go off to college and you’ll be…”
“Left behind. That’s what you mean, don’t you?” Disbelief coated my words. “You encouraged me to take a risk and now you’re what, suggesting I stop?”
“No,” her lips thinned, “I’m just saying don’t get too invested.”
Easy for her to say.
I didn’t flirt with random guys or hook up with guys at parties. I couldn’t even remember a time I’d looked at a guy and felt something. But I got butterflies in my stomach and my heart did little flips whenever Kaiden’s gray eyes looked in my direction.
How was I supposed to turn all that off when my heart was already invested?
“I didn’t mean to upset you.” Peyton nudged my shoulder, and I gave her a weak smile.
“I know.” And I did.
But it didn’t change the fact she’d said it.
“I take back my earlier statement.” Peyton laid her head on my shoulder. “I would totally jump Xander’s bones.”
I glanced at her, a beat passing between us, then we both exploded with laughter. It was her way of apologizing. At least, I hoped it was, because Xander was eleven years older than her and just as broken as she was.
It had disaster written all over it.
“One day, Lil, we won’t be like this,” she whispered. “One day, we’ll spread our wings and fly.”
I wanted to ask her what she meant because when I looked at Peyton, I saw a girl who was strong and fearless and unafraid to go after the things she wanted. But I guess we all had our demons.
The ones we kept inside and didn’t let people see.
Nestling closer to her as we watched the guys run drills on the field below, I let out a soft sigh.
“Yeah, I hope so too.”
Chapter Twenty
