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Happy, yes. But most relationships didn’t end happily. They ended in heartache.
It’s why I kept my distance and didn’t let anyone get too close. I could do sex. Sex was a transaction; a simple case of give and take. But catching feelings… that was a dangerous thing.
Ashleigh turned onto Bryan’s winding driveway. His house always took my breath away. Since ninth grade, I’d grown up with Lily and Ashleigh and their beautiful homes and generous parents, worlds away from my own life. But there was something different about coming here. Bryan liked me. I knew that. Felt it every time he set his ocean eyes in my direction. It was just another thing setting us apart though. His family was rich. Really freaking rich, and my family was… gone, leaving me behind with nothing. I guess deep down, I didn’t want people to think I was using Bryan. The way I knew some people thought I used the Fords.
A trail of shame snaked through me.
“What is it?” Lily asked, studying me.
“Nothing,” I said, averting my eyes. “It’s just been a hard few days.”
It wasn’t a total lie.
“I know. But we’re all so proud of how you’ve handled everything. You’re amazing, Peyton. I hope you know that.”
I appreciated her kind words, but I didn’t feel very amazing. I felt numb; worn down by people’s pity and words of sympathy. I’d never lost anyone before, except my sperm donor, and I could barely remember him. It wasn’t the same. But losing my mom, no matter how much of a waster she was, felt like losing a small piece of myself.
The car ground to a halt and we all climbed out, but my best friends didn’t take the shuddering breath I did, letting my mask slide into place.
The front door opened, and Bryan grinned at the sight of us approaching. “Ladies, welcome to Chez Hughes.”
Ashleigh snickered, ducking inside. Lily went next, leaving the two of us.
“Myers,” he said in that thick, lilting rasp of his.
“Hughes,” I quipped, the faintest smirk tugging the corner of my mouth.
But then his smile melted away, replaced with blistering concern. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, I really don’t.”
“Yeah, okay.” He ran a hand over his jaw. “But I want you to know I’m sorry, babe.” Bryan opened his arms. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
I fell into his embrace, soaking up his comfort. His strong arms like a blanket wrapped around me. My fingers twisted in his t-shirt as I swallowed down the unrelenting rush of emotion trying to claw its way up my throat.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
He gently eased me back and stared down at me. “Whatever you need, I’m here, you feel me?”
I nodded, too choked up to reply.
“Come on, I already loaded a movie and there’s popcorn.”
This. This was why I liked Bryan. He made everything so easy. It was impossible not to be swept up in his charm.
He tucked me into his side and guided me down the hall to our friends, but the second we found them in the home theater room, he released me. I loosened a breath and his eyes slid to mine, a smile there.
“Go,” he flicked his gaze to the huge sectional, “get comfortable.”
Lily and Kaiden were already curled up on the smaller couch, lost in their own little world as he whispered sweet nothings to her.
My chest cinched.
“Peyton.” Gav gave me a small nod.
“Hey.”
He went back to his conversation with Ashleigh. The two of them seemed to gravitate toward one another whenever the six of us hung out, but he didn’t show any interest in her. I wondered if it was because he knew her interest was elsewhere.
