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I’d thought saving Peyton that night was my shot at a second chance. That maybe she was my redemption. But maybe it was never about me.
Maybe it was about her.
Because although this would hurt her, she would get over it. She would go on to graduate, and have counselling and deal with her grief, and when she was ready, she would meet a good guy like Bryan. Someone with hopes and dreams and a shot at something more than… than this.
I glanced around my shitty apartment.
Peyton deserved better than this.
She deserved better than me.
And for as much as I didn’t want to admit it, maybe, in the long run, Huckley had done us both a favor.
* * *
I spentthe day on the couch watching ESPN, trying, and failing not to think about her.
Bryan was bringing Peyton straight over from work, although just the thought of that conversation made me want to puke. But the sooner I ripped off the Band-Aid, the better.
By the time she knocked at the door, my stomach was a tight knot.
“Hey,” Peyton beamed at me, her cheeks flushed from the cold.
“Hey,” I said. “Come in.”
Her expression slipped. “Xander, what is it?”
“Come inside, we need to talk.” I noticed Bryan backing out of the parking lot, and part of me wanted him to come and save her from this.
From me.
“Xander,” Peyton slipped past me, but didn’t get far before she whirled on me, “you’re scaring me. Did something happen?”
“Jase knows.”
“Wh-what? But… how? Bryan would never—”
“It wasn’t Bryan, Peyton. Coach Huckley… he saw us last night.” I let out a deep exhale. “He called Jase earlier.”
“Oh God.” Her hand drifted to the hollow of her throat. “But you told Jase everything, right? That you’re leaving the team and I’m—”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Her brows knitted, confusion clouding her eyes. “What do you mean, it doesn’t matter?”
“We have to end this.” My calm voice was at odds with the storm raging and tearing through me.
“What… no. No! I know it’s not ideal that he found out like this, but we were going to tell him tomorrow. I’m eighteen now and you don’t work at the school anymore, and hopefully, I’m going to graduate early. It doesn’t mat—”
“Yes, it does. Huckley has threatened to go to the school board.” The words cracked my chest wide open.
Tears clung to Peyton’s lashes as the reality of the situation came crashing down around us. “I’ll tell them it was consensual. I’ll tell them that I—”
“Peyton, listen to me. It doesn’t matter. I’m employed by the school. You’re a student. They have grounds to investigate… to press charges.”
“No, I don’t accept that. I need you, Xander… I-I love you. I’m in love with you.”
I’m in love with you.
