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“I didn’t realize you were with Peyton.” His eyes landed on me, and he gave me a thin smile.
“Sorry, am I interrupting something?”
“Of course you’re not.” Lily smiled, but Kaiden seemed conflicted.
“I… uh, actually, I was hoping to borrow you for ten minutes before practice.”
“What—”
“Go, it’s fine,” I said, pulling on my wooly hat. It was cold today. Much colder than it had been on the weekend. I felt like a marshmallow buried under my thick coat.
“Are you sure?” Apology glittered in her eyes.
“Yeah, I’ll meet you at the bleachers.”
“Okay.” She grabbed Kaiden’s hand and smothered a nervous smile. They were so sickeningly in love. It was impossible to not feel a stab of jealousy as he led her away.
I took a slow walk toward the football field. They didn’t get many spectators when it was this cold, but Lily hadn’t missed a single practice since she and Kaiden got together. I’d almost reached the turn for the bleachers when I felt someone coming up behind me. My skin tingled with awareness and I knew I’d find Xander when I turned around.
Sure enough, my gaze landed on him as I stopped and turned. “Well, hello.” I smiled, unable to fight it even if I tried. “You’re late. Don’t let Coach Ford know you’re slacking on the job.” Soft laughter spilled from my lips, but Xander wasn’t laughing. In fact, he didn’t look pleased to see me at all.
My heart sank.
“Xan—”
“Don’t,” he hissed. “You can’t call me that here.” His hard gaze darted around us.
“Relax, no one else is here.” Maybe I shouldn’t have found it so endearing that he was worried about being caught talking to me, but my foolish heart had already latched onto it. “I’m glad we bumped into each other,” I said, finding my confidence. “I wanted to thank you for yesterday.”
I searched his eyes for a hint of emotion, but there was nothing. Xander wore a mask of indifference—annoyance even—that chilled me to the core despite the already freezing temperature.
“I need to go.” He dragged a hand through his hair and went to step around me.
“Wait,” I grabbed his wrist. Irritation flashed in his eyes, the muscle in his jaw flexing as he dropped his darkened gaze to where my slim fingers circled his arm.
Immediately releasing him, I stepped back with a shaky breath. This wasn’t the guy who had opened up to me yesterday. It wasn’t the guy who had pulled me out of the river and saved my life.
Clearly, I’d misread the entire situation. Because you’re a foolish girl with no experience with guys like Xander.
“I-I’m sorry.” Spinning on my heel, I took off down the path back to the main building. Xander didn’t call after me; at least I didn’t think he did. It was hard to hear over the roaring of blood in my ears, the tears burning my eyes, the barbed coil of shame squeezing the air from my lungs.
Fumbling with my bag, I managed to retrieve my cell phone and quickly text Lily that I wouldn’t be joining her after all. I’d built this moment up in my head all day, losing myself in the fantasy that somehow when I finally saw Xander he would be happy to see me. That I’d see even a flicker of recognition of what we had shared yesterday.
But there’d been nothing happy about the way he’d looked at me.
It hit me then, that yesterday hadn’t been a ‘moment.’ We hadn’t been equals sharing our stories. Xander had pitied me. He’d taken pity on me falling apart, and he’d done what any normal person would have. He’d offered me comfort. Not because he was compelled to do so, or because he wanted to… but because that’s what you did when somebody was hurting. You comforted them. But I’d twisted it. I’d latched onto how good, how right it felt to be wrapped in his arms and I’d let myself believe it meant more.
And when he hadn’t reprimanded me for kissing him, I’d stupidly, foolishly, let myself believe that Xander cared for me.
