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I’d never wanted to see my mom like this.
And I never would have if I hadn’t gone poking around where certain dangerous figures didn’t want me to go.
“Honey,” she said with a bright smile that offset the worst of the damage, and held out her hand to me.
I leaned over the rail of her bed, receiving her one-armed hug and allowing her to squeeze me as tightly as she wanted. Despite the injuries, the embrace was like a death grip.
“Where’s Holand?” I asked when I finally straightened up. I knew he wouldn’t leave her side unless it became essential, so it surprised me to see her alone.
She rolled her eyes. “He refused to leave for three days, but that man smelled worse than me. I told him that I needed my robe from the house, and I asked him to shower while he was there. I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”
I had no doubt he would. “How are you feeling? Do you think you’ll be ready to be discharged tomorrow?”
“I was ready to be discharged as soon as I woke up. Do you know how much sleep I get in this place? None. There are nurses in here every hour on the hour, and the second I manage to doze off, I’m woken up again to be poked and prodded and who knows what else.” She took a deep breath. “So yes, I’m more than ready. I’ve had enough of hospitals.”
“I can understand that. I bet you’ll be a lot more comfortable at home if they’re sure there’s nothing else that needs strict monitoring.”
“Absolutely. And I’m so happy you could come home again. Are you sure it isn’t interfering with your schoolwork?”
“Mom,” I said, making a face at her. “It’s better for my schoolwork if I can see you for a while and reassure myself that you’re okay. I was pretty freaked out the other night. The rest can wait—and I’ll be able to concentrate better when I go back to it.”
Not that I didn’t have a dozen other things to distract me, not least of which the case that’d gotten us into this mess to begin with, but I wasn’t going to bring that up.
I half-expected her to argue, but she seemed to relax into the pillow, which told me how glad she was to have me here. “In that case, it’s wonderful to see you. But you don’t need to worry. I’m made of strong stuff.”
“I know you are.” I squeezed her hand, trying not to look at the cast her other arm was in.
Mom’s forehead furrowed. “I’m sure it must be hard for you, Maddie. You can’t have good memories when it comes to this place.”
Because of Dad, she meant. I sucked in a breath, both grateful and discomforted that she’d given me such an easy opening. Because as much as I’d wanted to see her for her own sake, that wasn’t the only thing I’d hoped to get out of this visit.
We needed to track down Dad’s killer soon, not just for his sake but to make sure Mom wasn’t in any more danger.
“I’ve actually been thinking about Dad a lot recently,” I said, easing into the subject as gently as I could. “Not just since coming here.”
Mom’s gaze softened. “Is there any specific reason?”
Not one that I could tell her. I bit my lip. “I guess it’s just with all the medical studies I’m looking into for school, it’s gotten me thinking about how little I got to know him and his work, since I was so little. I’m sure there are all kinds of things he didn’t think I could understand yet that he was researching. Did he tell you about what he was focused on around the time right before he died?”
Mom frowned, her eyes going distant as she thought back. “I think his current project with the hospital had to do with skin and bone grafts. I remember him talking about it a few times. But he didn’t like to let his job creep into our family time all that much, and it’s not really my area, so I couldn’t discuss it very well anyway.”
Whatever he’d been working on that’d gotten him into trouble probably hadn’t been part of his official job anyway. “Did he ever take up projects just for himself?” I asked, doing my best to sound as if I were just following a random thread of curiosity. “For his own personal interest, not just for work?”
“Oh, he was always reading. You must remember how many books he kept in his office. But it isn’t as if he had a whole lab in the house or anything. I think the work with the hospital and the periodic outside contracts he took on filled most of that well for him.”
But not all of it. I groped for another angle to come at it from. “I thought it might be interesting to read through some of his notes and things from that time. It’d make me feel a little closer to him now that I’m more familiar with the subject. Did he have many files at the house that you’ve kept around?”
Mom knit her brow. “There are a couple of boxes in the basement, but he didn’t have much at home. I think he mostly kept his paperwork at the hospital, especially since some of it was confidential—patient information and that sort of thing.”
The boxes in the basement were the ones Logan had already looked through. I couldn’t say that to her, though. Instead, I plastered on a smile. “I’ll check those out sometime, then.”
Mom’s attention lingered on me, her expression shadowed with concern. “Has this been bothering you a lot, honey? I think you knew your father better than maybe you realize. He was always trying to let you in on his interests and help teach you about the world. And he’d definitely be proud of what you’re doing with your life.”
My chest constricted. “I know. It’s not a big deal. I guess being in the hospital got me thinking more about it—that’s all.”
“Are you sure?” Mom scooted a little more upright. “If you’re struggling at all, you know you can always arrange an appointment with Mr. Yanicho. I’m sure he’d be able to fit you in for a session.”
Oh, crap, now she was really worried about me. She was suggesting I might need to see my old therapist who’d talked me through the worst of my grief as a kid.
