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"We'd co-parent, I guess. We'd be roommates raising a baby."
She stares at me. "Excuse my language, but that's the stupidest fuckin' thing I've ever heard." Her voice is just above a whisper, but her harsh tone could be heard across state lines. "At that point, why wouldn't y'all just date? Or hell, get married. Lord knows y’all are perfect for each other."
I roll my eyes. "Because we're just friends."
I've said those words at least a hundred times over the years.
"So you'd be friends who'd just...fuck?"
"With one goal in mind. Hopefully, I’ll get pregnant right away without any added weirdness. A week of baby-making sex and then we can move on like it didn’t happen."
Her facial expression tells me I'm crazy, and hell, maybe I am, but I want what I want.
"Kaitlyn, have you ever looked at Payton? Like, really looked?"
"Yes, and…?"
"I may be a married woman, but I can recognize a good-lookin' man when I see one. He's a muscular, tall, tattooed god...and those are just his physical features. Payton worships the ground you walk on, and while you deny it, we all see it. He's also genuine and hardworking, which makes him even sexier. Hell, I'm startin' to wonder if I should leave my husband for him." She snickers, then continues, "Payton's literally everything you've ever wanted, and you're just going to use him to make a baby, then just be like thanks for the sperm!" she whispers in a high-pitched voice meant to mock me.
"He's the one who offered," I remind her between gritted teeth.
"And you think you'll be able to bang Mr. Sex on Legs without catchin' feelings?"
"Well, we'd set ground rules to ensure we stayed within the boundaries of friendship."
She snort-laughs. "The ones you'll be crossing as soon as you kiss."
"Then we won't kiss," I quickly retort. "Actually, that's a good idea. No kissin’ and absolutely no catchin' feelings."
"That's not how it works..." She points her spoon at me. "Let me ask you this. How do you feel about Payton? How do you see him as of right now?"
I adjust in my seat as I inhale. "I don't know. I had a sex dream about him once, but I was also drunk and dreamed about sexy blue aliens on the same night, so I figured it didn't mean anything. He's always just been one of my best friends. We shit talk, watch our shows, eat and hang out, and there's never been anything more to it than that."
Minus when I nearly begged him to admit he wanted to sleep with me during my drunken night at the wedding reception.
"Why have I never heard about this sex dream?" she quips, and I roll my eyes.
"About the blue aliens?" I taunt, and she snorts.
"You might not wanna hear this, but he's been holding back when it comes to you. No one can figure out why, though."
"I guess I never thought about it because crossin' those lines meant I'd potentially lose him if things didn't work out. And with my dating track record, it’s too much of a risk."
"And you don't think rollin' around between the sheets to make a baby isn't a risk?"
"Oh, it is. But going into it with rules gives our friendship a better chance at survival. Maybe then things won’t turn out badly." At least I hope.
"Well, I don't know about that. It’s hard to control how you feel, even with boundaries. However, you should have tons of crazy sex before you get pregnant because babies take over your life."
"Oh, like you and Gavin aren't bangin' like rabbits."
"Of course we are, but it’s nothing like when we were newlyweds. Instead of sneakin' around so no one knew we were dating, now we're hidin' from the kids and doing it in the closet. That's part of life, though. You get older and grow your family, and then your priorities shift. So before you tie yourself down, have some fun."
"I'm ready to be a mom, though," I reiterate. "The sex is just a steppin'-stone to get there."
She tilts her head at me, unamused. "Alright, so what happens after? What’re you gonna tell people? What will Grandma say? And everyone else who asks where your husband is?"
I know she's not being judgmental but rather preparing me because our family is traditional in nature. It is unusual to purposely get pregnant by a friend with no intentions of pursuing a romantic relationship. Not all of my cousins got married first, but my situation is different, and I’ll be bombarded with questions.
