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“That’s not true. I did come back. I think I was sixteen. You weren’t here.”
I swallowed. Was that true? When he was sixteen, I was fourteen…
I realized that he was right. By that time, I was already gone, sent off to live with my great aunt in Hertford. If he had indeed returned to Rosehill, he wouldn’t have found me.
“I left Rosehill when I was fourteen.”
He paused, taking a small sip of the gin.
“I see. I heard about what happened to your parents from the new steward. I had no idea. I guess I haven’t been here in years, and no one told me back then…” He trailed off, staring into space.
“Anyhow, I’m sorry, Amelia.” The apology was sincere. He looked at me, his face full of concern, and I felt frozen for a moment.
I finally responded, the taste of gin burning in my nose.
“It’s okay. I’m sorry about your parents, too.”
There was a moment of silence. The air felt heavy, as if it was weighed down by the years of separation that had distanced us.
Finally, Will sighed, looking down at the bottle of gin in his hand darkly.
“Well, we’re both a sorry lot, aren’t we? Orphans, with shitty gin to match. Ah well.” He took a long swig from the bottle and then tossed it onto the table with disregard.
“Do you usually drink this much?” I asked.
I was starting to feel funny… as if I had the sudden desire to get up and run around the room. Or move closer to the Lord, who was sitting only feet away from me, his shirt still unbuttoned…
Howdidhe get so tan?
Ugh, Amelia, I chided myself. These were exactly the kind of thoughts Iwasn’tsupposed to be having.
“I usually drink more.” He responded. I started to laugh, but then I saw his expression, and I realized it wasn’t a joke.
“More? My Lord, really-”
“Donotcall me that. And yes. I can’t remember the last time I was actually sober.”
“At dinner today?” I asked dubiously.
He laughed.
“Of course not. You think I would go to a dinner like that without at least a drink?”
I bit my lip, trying to stop my laughter.
“That is fair.”
“Your benefactor is a miserable woman. Why are you with her, again?”
I looked at Will, taking in his expensive clothes and the comfortable luxury of our surroundings. The library was large, filled with thousands of rare books, and the walls were lined with art. He had never known poverty, or any kind of economic insecurity at all. And on top of that he was a viscount.
He wouldneverunderstand.
“Cassandra is my friend.” I answered blandly. “And, I simply have nowhere else to go.”
Will observed me for a moment, and then handed me the gin again. Without thinking, I took another deep swig. I could hardly taste it anymore.
“This tastes like water.” I said, looking down at the bottle. Everything seemed a little blurry all of a sudden.
