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Would it ever remain?
As if he was suddenly taken by a hidden force, Will snapped towards his friends, and an easy and sarcastic – if not slightly cold – smile slid onto his face.
“Did I say you could drink my spirits?”
The men laughed, glasses of some amber liquid already in their hands. Will strode over to the cart and pulled himself a tall glass. As he walked across the room, I noticed the faint outline of his flask against the fabric of his pants.
I remembered the clarity and vulnerability he’d shown at my uncle’s when he’d been sober. Perhaps it had been too good to be true.
They settled into the settee and chairs across from me. I had never interacted with men like this in my life, and I knew it was a new reality afforded to me by my tarnished reputation. They no longer needed to treat me as a lady of society – I wasn’t one.
“So, Miss Allen,” Cavendish said, his face still serious. “Marsden told us that you are old friends. Where did you meet?”
“We both grew up at Rosehill Manor, my Lord.” I answered quietly, yet without my voice shaking, for which I was pleased. “My father was the steward for Lord Marsden’s estate.”
Cavendish nodded.
“Devonshire, correct? Beautiful country.”
“Indeed, my Lord.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Will downing his drink. He stood abruptly to get another.
“Already finished?” Cavendish said, his glance moving towards Will and his eyes narrowing.
“My apologies, Cav, but small talk about the English countryside requirescopiousamounts of spirits to endure."
Arlington chuckled, and I felt my face blush even harder.
“Besides,” Will said, pouring himself another drink, “It’s been far too long since I’ve been properly drunk.”
He looked up at me as he said it, and something about his expression seemed to betray a challenge. I felt my heart beat a little faster. Was he thinking about how I’d pried his liquor out of his hand in the library the other night?
How I’d coaxed him into a sobriety – however brief?
And now, was he thinking about what had happened after? When he’d pushed me against the wall of the library, really kissing me for the first time…
Or was he thinking about this morning? How we’d nearly made love behind the curtains…
The conversation carried on between the Lords, with occasional polite questions parried to me. They were like brothers with each other.
I imagined Cavendish to be the sort of man who couldn’t help but go into politics, and be good at it, too. He was popular without trying, the natural leader of the group, and though he seemed to be good natured, he was somewhat cold and removed, as if he was more than capable of putting men into their place. He spoke with conviction, and though he joked mercilessly with Will, he lacked my old friend’s witty sarcasm and sensuous provocation.
Arlington, in contrast, was undoubtedly good natured. He was jovial and kind, with a hint of intellectualism. What he lacked in athleticism and authority, he made up for in thoughtful conversation and observation.
And then, of course, there was Will. Seeing him with his friends – people who had known him quite some time, and in quite a different setting than I ever had – was new for me. Over the past week, I’d seen glimpses of the Will I had always known. The boy who had played with me in Rosehill; the boy who had been my best friend.
But with these Lords, he was someone else entirely.
He was the Lord Marsden, the rake of London. He was wealthy beyond my furthest dreams, connected, and his very blood was steeped in prestige. He was a man who had traveled the world and seen and done more things than I could imagine.
Indeed, these last few days with Will had made me forget who hereallywas.
Not much time had passed before another group of people arrived. This time it was mixed company; a baron, the son of an earl, and a female opera starlet. I could only imagine what the opera starlet was doing with members of the ton – surely nothing upstanding – but I realized that my judgement was hypocritical.
Weren’t we now the same – both women involved with men who would never marry us?
Will hastened to introduce me to the newcomers, but as soon as he had, another group arrived. Before he could even start to introduce them, he was suddenly pulled to the side of the room by a friend, leaving me awkwardly sitting alone.
