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His return gaze is somber, and he allows me to leave without another word.
* * *
Dear Nate,
I’m sorry you weren’t here for the birthday party. We had ice cream cake, and the restaurant served limoncello which Dad encouraged me to drink. It was so awful! I hated it, and everyone at the table laughed including our waiter who brought it. Dad says that all liquor is that awful and I should stay away. It’s like he thinks I’ve never snuck sips of his brandy with you. ;)
Your mom gave me a writing set, which is why you are getting this handwritten letter. It’s beautiful paper, isn’t it? I already ruined about ten pages trying to write in a straight line. How do people write without lines? This time I’m using a ruler, and it’s working out better.
Anyway, she said that your dad and her used to write letters when he was in the Marines. Isn’t that cool? I can’t see your dad writing love letters. He gave me a weird look the other day, asking if he had some leftover dinner on his nose, which he didn’t. But I couldn’t stop staring at him because you know he seems so imposing and, well, not a little uptight at times. Don’t get me wrong. I totally adore Uncle Noah, but Daddy is so much more easy-going, and I could totally see him writing my mom corny love letters. When I asked Daddy if he wrote to Mom, he said no. That he couldn’t bear to be away from her long enough to write a letter. That and he didn’t know Mom while he was in the military.
Your dad told me that you are joining up, though, because you want to be a Navy SEAL, which seems both awesome and dangerous at the same time. I wish you would have told me, but I guess I understand why you didn’t. I probably would have begged you not to go and because I was sick or whatever, you might have changed your plans. I didn’t realize what a selfish girl I’ve been! It’s so easy to get caught up in my own problems like the stupid things about losing your hair or your eyebrows! Who needs eyebrows???!! No one, right? They are like . . . the appendix. Unnecessary things. My new resolution in life is to stop worrying about stupid things. I’m going to save my energy and worry about big things like . . . when am I going to see you again? I miss you so much.
Is it selfish of me to say that? I hope not. Because I tried not to say it, but it spilled out here at the end, and now that I’m almost done, I don’t have the will to try to write another version tonight. I know that I’ll just end up saying the same thing. I can’t keep it inside.
I love you and miss you, but I’m trying to understand that our lives are both changing and that you just need a little space. I get that. Okay, I don’t really get that, but I’m trying to. I’m including a picture that Colin took of the family. I should be going home in three months.
I hope you’ll be home then. Your dad wasn’t sure of your schedule. Let me know, though, so I can keep sending you these letters. Wow, this pen is really awesome. Your mom picks out great stuff.
Love and miss you a thousand times,
Charlotte
23
Dear Nate,
It’s been weird being back at North Prep. I feel like I don’t even know anyone here anymore—that I’m disconnected with it all. If it weren’t for Nick, I think I would ask my parents if I could go somewhere else. You may have heard that Greta transferred before the fall semester started. She originally enrolled at St. James Academy, but I guess word had gotten out about what happened with you and she had to drop out. The last I knew she was going to public school. No one here talks about it anymore. There’s new scandals, like the substitute chemistry teacher who got caught having sex with Alison Morrisey. Do you remember her? Really quiet girl? Long, curly auburn hair? Her hair was gorgeous, and apparently the chem teacher couldn’t keep his hands off her.
He’s getting prosecuted. Poor Alison claims she loves him. It’s a pretty big mess. Speaking of messes, everyone is upset with Nick and me because we ruined prom. Some girl—I don’t know who as she hasn’t fessed up to it—nominated Nick for prom king. He threatened to quit the team if anyone voted for him. There were several write-ins, but his threat was effective enough to see that he came in a distant third. He wanted me to go with him, but I didn’t feel up to it, so he decided to stay home. Word got around that he wasn’t going and half the team ended up at your place, which made all the folks at the dance furious.
