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He, on the other hand, took a little longer to find something he thought was “suitable,” but after another three months went by, he knew he had to do something. It was embarrassing to have your wife be the breadwinner, so he took a job at a local distribution center working in a warehouse. After a few months, he was done with forklifts and applied to the police academy. Decent pay, benefits, good retirement plan. Tori couldn’t really argue with that. But being married to a cop? She had heard hair-raising stories, and a lot of it wasn’t work related. But it was something.
Within the year, she got pregnant. They hadn’t planned on it, but there it was. She worked up until a few days before she delivered a baby boy. And voila! They were a family.
She thought about her estranged family. It had been two decades since she had last seen them. She heard that her mother had been in and out of rehab and eventually died of liver failure. As far as she knew, her father had moved to Alabama to retire. When she was a kid, he would often say how he couldn’t wait until he could “just hunt ’n’ fish all day.” She hardly ever saw him. He had been a long-haul trucker. He would be gone for weeks at a time. Tori sometimes wondered if he had a secret family stashed somewhere. And her brother? Nothing since the incident. She thought he might have gone into foster care.
Tears streamed down her face. Her guilt was multilayered. Her life at Casa Aluminum had faded into the dust. The night of the incident, she had fled the scene and sneaked a note into the mailbox. The last thing she wanted was a search party looking for her. The letter was short. She wasn’t sure either of her parents would bother to read it, but she wrote it just in case anyone asked where she was.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused and I won’t be coming back. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Really. And please, please do not try to look for me. That would only make it worse. I love you.
She had only been eighteen at the time, but the memories lurked in the shadows of her mind. She was horrified at what she had done, even if it was an accident. Looking back, she knew she had made a mistake. One of the first of many. With each bad decision, she fell deeper and deeper into the dark hole that had become her life. She wondered when the cycle would end.
And now? Now she had a new challenge. She knew she needed a miracle. But she seriously doubted that she deserved one.
It was that fateful event that crippled her thinking. Paralyzed her judgment. She didn’t have the courage to face the consequences, so they fled. And he certainly didn’t want to have to answer questions either. He convinced her it was better this way. A clean break. They would be on their own. Together. It was a wild, romantic fantasy. They would find a place of their own. Get jobs. Together, they would dream about what they would do with their lives.Yeah, dream, not do.
Tori shook her head. Had she given more thought about what she wanted when she was a teenager, she wouldn’t be in the situation she was in now. Yes, thinking things through should always be the first step. Sadly, she was finding that out the hard way.
She placed a hand on her belly. She didn’t know how to tell him he was going to be a father again. Not that he was a terrible father. He had done all the father-son things over the years. Baseball, camping, fishing. But her son showed much more sensitivity than his father ever had. Brendon refused to go hunting, which sparked his father’s ire.
No, Brendon was kind. Compassionate. Plus, he had a goal. She supposed he was making up for her failings in having a plan. He wanted to join the military. Army Cyber. He had been playing video games since he was nine. He had a knack for it. Now he was eighteen, the same age she had been when she ran away. But the military would be good for him. He would have a career, and with some luck, he wouldn’t be in harm’s way. She couldn’t blame him either. Hadn’t she run from a miserable upbringing? The only difference was that she had a bond withherchild. Her mother had not.
But the idea of another child with him meant she would be tied to him for another eighteen years. That thought gave her pause. It’s not as if she had seriously considered divorce. She rarely considered anything when it came to her own interests and needs. Thank goodness for George Layton. Even though he had helped steer her away from her job, it was in a better direction than the course she had been on. But now there was a big issue to consider.
For years, it had never occurred to her that her husband was controlling. After all, she never took control of her own life. But now she realized that her lack of control was the core of her problem. She simply went about her life as she always had, letting things happentoher instead of making them happenforher. She had not been fully aware of his passive-aggressive behavior until now.
In the beginning, he had insisted she dye her hair blond. She would be his own personal Barbie doll. He told her he was very disappointed in her when she chopped it off à la Jamie Lee Curtis. She told him it was easier for her with the baby and all. He sulked for days. That also reminded her of all the comments he made when she was pregnant. Once, when they were at a party, he kept remarking about another pregnant woman and how great she looked compared to Tori. He said she looked fat and bloated. It only fueled her insecurity further.
Over the course of time, his moods became darker. And it had been escalating lately, especially since Brendon had left. Going cold-turkey from coming off the Percocet hadn’t helped. Several years before, he had been in a motorcycle accident and needed surgery. And just like every other doctor at the time, his surgeon had put him on pain meds. For a bit too long. After six months, amid the national surge and outrage about opiate addiction, the department’s on-call surgeon would no longer refill his script. He had given up the motorcycle when he was told it had been totaled and didn’t want to spend the money on a new one. “Those days are over,” he had barked at her. And he had never been the same since.
Tori was aware that there were genetic ties to addiction so she limited her alcohol consumption to one glass of wine. She didn’t want to turn out like her mother. But her husband’s family was a hot mess. All of his relatives had one issue or another. She kept that in the back of her mind and worked hard to keep their household as peaceful as possible. Reliability. Consistency. Argument avoidance. Life was just easier that way.
They lived in a small town. The crime rate was high, but it was mostly auto thefts, so his hours were relatively normal. Which meant that when he wasn’t at work, he would be out with his pals.
She checked the bruises on her arm. It was partially her fault. When the doctor asked about them, Tori told her she fell carrying a load of laundry. It was half true. She had brought the laundry basket up from the basement when he grabbed her and started kissing her hard. It had been a while since they made love. He never seemed interested, but that night he was in the mood, and she was happy to oblige his desire. She hoped it would bring back some kind of spark to their relationship, but it had been rough and not very romantic.
Tori wished she had a best friend. Someone she could confide in. But there wasn’t anyone, and even if there were, she didn’t know if she should or could talk about it. For one thing, she was embarrassed. The other was that her husband was a cop. It was an unspoken rule. You didn’t discuss your personal life with others.
Tori sighed and rested her head on the steering wheel. She was proof you shouldn’t run off and marry the first boy you kiss.
Chapter Three
Namaste Café
Present day
Luna looked at the clock. It was almost noon. She was happy Cullen had interrupted the morning’s conversation. The subject of U.S. Marshal Christopher Gaines always unnerved her. When it came to men, she was skittish. Especially the ones she liked. Any woman with a brain should be skittish around men. But Gaines was different. He had an easy way about him. He was patient, charming, and had a good sense of humor. She didn’t have to explain her “gift,” and he showed tremendous respect for her work with children. They shared the same quick wit and dry sense of humor although Luna knew she could be a handful. Not that she was a flake, but when she zeroed in on something or someone, it was like trying to wrestle a sock out of a dog’s mouth.
Weeks after the gala, Gaines had business in the area and invited her to dinner. She wasn’t sure if it was a date but when they knocked heads as he tried to kiss her, she figured that perhaps it was. It was awkward and funny at the same time.
Whenever Gaines was in the area, they would meet for dinner. Once they took a long hike in the mountains, and she went to Charlotte twice to help on a case. When they were alone, they would walk arm in arm as if they had been doing it for years. But they never held hands. It was OK if you were eight years old, but as an adult, holding hands was a sign of something more intimate. But she was comfortable and felt safe with him. He was always the perfect gentleman, never asking or pushing for her to bed down with him. He would kiss her softly at the end of the night, and Luna could feel the chemistry flowing between them. It was all she could do to maintain her balance. They were developing a bond. Something deeper. But it hadn’t gone any further between them. Truth be told, she wished it had, but she wasn’t going to push it. It had been sweet and lovely. Why mess with that? Which is exactly why she avoided discussing it with Ellie and Chi-Chi.
Luna pulled out her two-way radio and called Sabrina, one of the local college art students who volunteered at the center. “Bri? Can you hold the fort for me for a few minutes? I want to grab a sandwich and check on Wiley.”
A scratchy noise came through, then Sabrina’s voice.
“Sure. No problem. Be there in five. I’m upstairs at Hands of Time.” Hands of Time specialized in vintage watches, all refurbished to their original condition, and many fetching prices well into the thousands.
