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Chapter Fifteen
The woman was beautiful, or at least she had been before someone had torn her apart. She’d had long blonde hair that now had splotches of red, and tan skin that made her look like she’d lived by the beach her whole life.
It was strange to see Troy there, broken and clutching her lifeless form.
Troy was my neighbor—well, he was a lot more than that now—but to think of him having had a mate before? Of him being romantic, of him having a strange domestic life?
It felt odd.
And voyeuristic in a not-fun-and-sexy way.
Troy had never talked about his mate beyond telling me how she had died. I hadn’t ever pushed because it wasn’t my place.
Seeing him there, though, it made it clear that perhaps I should have asked. Maybe I should have made an effort to understand that part of hislife.
I’d always been the sort to move on, to not dwell in the past, but maybe he needed that.
Then I thought about Gran, about how I didn’t want to let her fade to nothing, and I guessed that before her, I’d never had anyone I wanted to remember.
Just because she wasn’t living didn’t mean she was gone from him, and if anyone understood that, it should have been me…
I dropped to my knees beside him. He had his face buried against her neck, his shoulders trembling.
“Hey,” I said, voice soft.
He ignored me. Would this be like it had been with Kase? Would I eventually find a version of him that wasn’t locked in the past?
He sobbed, broken, not fully human noises, as if both he and his wolf mourned together.
“She was beautiful.” Troy’s voice from behind me made me twist to find him dressed as he had been before, watching the other him hold their dead mate.
I didn’t rise, but nodded. “She was.”
He let out a long sigh. “I should have never thought I could keep her safe. Humans aresofragile.”
Boy, wasn’t that the truth? It seemed anything could take them out, as if the world were just waiting to off a few more.
I thought about falling in love with one and shuddered. Maybe there was a benefit to falling for immortals. Sure, the ones I had chosen were exceptionally frustrating, but even with how strong they were, I worried constantly about something happening to them.
How would it work if they were as easily damaged as mortals?
“You tried your best,” I said, not sure what else to say.
“I did, and it wasn’t good enough. She only had the enemies I made, and I still couldn’t keep her safe.”
It was then I realized how poorly I’d chosen my pep talk.
Troy wasn’t blaming himself because he thought he could have done something different. He was blaming himself because he knew he’d done everything and hadstillfailed.
That was far worse.
If I played a game and kicked a soccer ball, missing the goal, I could train and hope to do better. If I tried to play the game against Troy, who was faster and stronger than I’d ever be, well, that was the time to throw in the towel all together.
Which suddenly made sense of his reluctance.
“I thought we got over this,” I said, frustration eating at me, a fear that we never would fully move past this fear of his.
“Clearly not.”
