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Appropriate attire. That meant she was covered essentially from head to toe in gray, formless clothes. It had been one of the most boring trips to Macy’s of all time. Aside from her clothing, she’d also tied her hair back in the most restrained way that she could.
Minimal physical contact. When her dad finally came to see her, she was allowed — if she wanted — to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Of course, she wasn’t going to do that. Never.
Dignified behavior. No crying, no screaming, no rudeness. Sophia didn’t think that would be a problem for her.
The room was bigger than she’d been expecting and, there were already quite a few prisoners in here, talking quietly to their visitors. Her father was at a Detention Center, waiting to be transferred to the prison where he’d spend the rest of his sentence. That prison could be anywhere in the country, so Sophia had decided to come and see him once before he was moved.
‘Trust me,’ Wolf had said, ‘if you don’t go and see him, you might regret it later. And there’s nothing worse than regret.’
She’d fought against him initially, but finally conceded that if it went badly, she’d know not to bother with another visit.
Her nerves were out of control. She hadn’t seen her father since the day he’d almost forced her to marry Groat. Obviously, she’d followed the legal case with Wolf and her mother, but she’d wanted to stay away from the court.
For the past couple months, she’d worked with Wolf to feel good about herself. It had been so difficult not to blame herself for the death of her brother, and the awful state that her mom had been in. But, with lots of long chats, and time spent with her mother, the cloud of guilt was starting to lift.
A lot of the breakthroughs had actually been made in Little Space. It was when Sophia felt at her most relaxed that she could really share her feelings. A mix of play and difficult discussions suited her perfectly, and it had led her to a healthy head space. Well, as healthy as it could possibly be after everything she’d witnessed and experienced.
Even with all her preparation, when her father entered the visit room, flanked by guards, his hands cuffed and his face gray with stubble, she was surprised by the feelings it stirred in her.
She hated him. Hated him for everything he’d done.
But she loved him too. That love was like a computer virus — it had been installed in her when she was just a baby, and there was no way to rip it out without completely destroying who she was.
He looked frail, so desperately frail. The arranged marriage had clearly taken it out of him. It had been his final chance for revenge, and he’d had it taken away from him. He was a broken man.
And he deserved it.
He didn’t bother asking Sophia for a kiss, she didn’t even stand to greet him.
‘Come on, then,’ he said hoarsely, as he sat down. ‘Why are you here?’
‘I wanted to see you.’ Somehow, she managed to keep her voice strong. ‘Plus, Mama wanted me to check on you.’
‘What are you gonna tell her?’ he asked, raising an eyebrow.
‘That you’re alive.’
He chuckled wryly. ‘Technically.’
‘I’m not staying for long,’ Sophia said. ‘I have lots to do.’
‘Of course. I’m busy too.’
‘What are you busy with?’
‘Thinking about how much I fucked up.’
‘Papa, cursing’s not allowed. But you’re right. You did.’
He nodded. ‘For what it’s worth, Sophia, I’m sorry.’
‘I don’t need an apology from you,’ she said, sitting up straight. ‘I just came to tell you one thing.’
‘Oh?’
‘My life belongs only to me,’ she said. ‘And whoever I choose to share it with.’ She rose from her chair.
The guard looked at her with confusion. ‘Ma’am,’ he said, ‘you have an hour if you want to take it.’
