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Aaron is incredibly privileged and has every resource available to him. I’m desperate for him to use those resources, to be the man I know he is deep down beneath all the insecurity and the anger, but it feels like he’s constantly taking steps further away.
It hurts to admit all of this—that I’mgiving upon him.
Or at least that’ll be the way he sees it.
His snappy moods and his subtle attempts at control I could cope with. But the time we spent laughing at home or grinning ear to ear when we nail something on the ice isn’t enough to cancel out the bad anymore. It could never be enough when I can’t even trust him not to say vile things about me if I’m not there.
Even with all those emotions rampaging through my body, the voice in my head shoutingclean break,I can’t be a pair skater without a pair. I need to start thinking about it as strictly a professional partnership.
Colleagues.
Nathan hates it,obviously, but this isn’t about him or what makes him feel comfortable. I get it, I honestly do. The way Nathan cares for me incites a weird, fuzzy feeling in my stomach—the kind I thought people made up.
He treats me with respect and with kindness, and he roots for me in every way. I’m calling him my boyfriend, for God’s sake, a word that previously sent a wave of horror through my body but now makes me feel content. We’re inseparable and we’re both happy with it like that.
But what he forgets is he’s leaving in the summer and moving to a different country, so he needs to get on board with the idea that I can handle Aaron alone.
It isn’t normal that Nate and I live together, even though we both love it. I’ve always loved living with Brin and Aaron, and I’d like to get back to the point where Aaron and I can exist in the same space, even if we’re not best friends anymore. I don’t even bring that bit up anymore because Nathan hates the idea of me moving back to Maple Tower.
Basically, if it’s about Aaron, Nathan hates it, but it’s nice of him to be so consistent. He doesn’t have the same fears as me; he doesn’t question if we only work because we’re together twenty-four seven, and if when he moves, and we have to spend time apart, we’ll last.
I hope we last. I need us to last. Going from frenemies to lovers in three months wasn’t something I ever thought would happen. But despite my best efforts, I’m so freaking in love with this man.
* * *
“Are we there yet?”
Nate pinches the bridge of his nose, sighing heavily. He doesn’t find me funny right now, but the more irritated he gets, the funnier I find it.
Am I…JJ?
Lowering his head, his nose brushes against mine gently. I can feel his warm breath on my skin, lips an inch from mine, and momentarily, I lose all function. “As soon as we’re alone,” he nods toward our driver, who’s minding his own business in the front, “I’m going to spank you for every time you’ve asked me that.”
My breath catches in my throat, somewhere between a giggle and a gasp, and he closes the gap, making me melt with a kiss. Breaking apart, he presses his forehead to mine. “Don’t threaten me with a good time, Hawkins.”
Leaning back to look at me, his brown eyes lock with mine and I just know. I know I made the right choice to spend the holidays here with him. “You’re so naughty sometimes.”
“Are we nearly there, though?”
His fingers weave between mine in my lap, and he peeks out of the window. “Two minutes. That still counts, by the way.”
“I was hoping it would.”
It’s the longest two minutes of my life, but finally, we pull up to a large gate. I’m trying not to be impatient; I’m more trying not to reveal how nervous I am because I know it’s silly. It’s an empty house, how can I be nervous about an empty house?
Scratch that.
Mansion. A gigantic, snowy mansion with a massive driveway up to the front door. I don’t realize my mouth is hanging open, until Nate taps under my chin, chuckling, prompting me to close it.
“You’re seriously rich,” I whisper, not even necessarily talking to him, just processing.
I knew Nate’s family has money, but it never occurred to me it would bethismuch money. The car stops outside the front door that’s so big it may have been originally designed for giants.
“My dad is seriously rich.”
It’s all a bit of a blur as we get our bags, and he ushers me in. He nudges me toward the middle of the room. “Go snoop, you know you want to.”
He’s right.
