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“Because you’re only looking at the now and you’re being fucking selfish! She can’t be a pair skater without a pair. She’s being smart, Nate. She’s using Aaron to achieve her goals because she doesn’t have another option. You should be proud of her for being so strong, and all you’ve done is get fucking jealous and petty, making her feel shit over something that’s very difficult for her.”
Henry and Robbie are painfully quiet while JJ rips into me. Henry is squinting at his mug, swirling around the liquid so he doesn’t have to look at me. Robbie is looking at me, face blank.
“You two gonna say anything?”
Rob shrugs. “I mean, he’s right. You know he’s right, that’s why you look so pissed right now. You know we love her, Nate. You think I like Sabrina being around him? Of course I don’t, but they’re both big girls. Big, stubborn girls. From what you’ve told us, and, uh, what Brin’s told me, she couldn’t have been clearer with you that she doesn’t want to be his friend. I think you need to decide whether you’re willing to drive her away over your ego.”
“It isn’t my fucking ego! I’m worried about the woman I’m in love with spending time with someone who is awful to her.”
“It is your ego,” Henry mutters from beside me, not looking up from where he’s still spinning his coffee. “You think he’s going to manipulate her into forgiving him and then she won’t need you anymore. You like being needed by her. It makes you feel important. You know Aaron hates you and you think he’s going to keep her away from you. Which just shows you don’t know how strong she is, or truly understand how much she loves you.”
This has got to be one of the worst fucking interventions ever.
“So you all think I’m a dick then, is what I’m hearing?”
Robbie clears his throat and laughs. “I’ve thought you were a dick since kindergarten, for the record.”
“I didn’t know you in kindergarten,” JJ adds. “But I imagine if I did, I would have also thought you were a dick. You know we love you, man, but you brought her here, let us live with her and get to know her, and now we love her too. We don’t want you to ruin something pretty fucking special. That’s what Aaron wants.”
“I don’t think you’re a dick, Nathan,” Henry says quietly. “I think you need to put yourself in her shoes. If you and JJ had a fight, but we had a game and you needed a defenseman that would help us win, you’d let him play. You’d put aside the drama and concentrate on the win. That’s all she’s doing.”
“You guys have a date later, right?” Robbie says, smiling when I nod. “Talk to her about it. She needs to know you’re with her on this.”
“Have you three got nothing better to do than fucking Oprah me?”
That breaks the tension in the room as the three of them laugh. “It’s a nice change from watching Henry desperately try to track down that girl, Jenny, or whatever from Christmas.”
“Youstillhaven’t found her? What did you say to the poor girl? Has she gone into witness protection or something?” I joke, smiling harder when Henry glares at me like he’s trying to set me on fire with his eyes.
“Sorry, Nathan. We can’t all harass a girl into a relationship. Some of us need time to find out who they are first, okay? I—”
I don’t hear whatever else he says over the sound of me, JJ, and Robbie howling laughing.
* * *
I don’t knowwhy I feel nervous about going on a date with my own girlfriend.I watch her politely say good-bye to the doorman at the front of her building and make her way toward my car in the pick up zone. She looks fucking unbelievable. So unbelievable that we might not make it to our dinner reservation at Octopus.
It’s a seafood restaurant that recently opened in Malibu, and luckily, a guy who’s into JJ works there and managed to sort it out for me. I’m not exactlyforpimping out my roommate to book a table in an exclusive restaurant, but I’m not exactly against it either.
The second she climbs in my car is filled with the sweet smell of her perfume. She always smells good, but right now, it’s something else. Is this what happens when I don’t see her for a couple of days? I’d tell her, but I can already hear her jokes about being a vampire with heightened senses.
“What are you chuckling to yourself about?” she grins, leaning over to kiss me. God, she even tastes good. I move my hand toward her face, but she bats it away before I can hold her face, breaking apart to mutter,“Makeup.”
“Vampires, uh, doesn’t matter. I’ve missed you, you look so beautiful tonight.”
“You look pretty good yourself, Hawkins. How was practice?”
We chat comfortably all the way to Malibu, catching up on the little things that have happened during our days that we don’t think to mention now that we don’t spend most of our days together. She tells me how she beat her PB doing squats, and now Brady is going to increase her calories again after her competition.
I tell her about Henry and Russ’s budding friendship and how some of the more immature team members don’t seem to like it, so I had a word with them about growing the fuck up. Frat culture is weird and can be a little cultlike, in my opinion; it’s why I was never interested. I prefer to hang out with people I like instead of being forced to like specific people in the name of brotherhood.
“I will beat anyone who hurts my boys,” she says sternly. I know she’s not even joking as well; all five foot, four inches of her would happily take on anyone to protect Henry, and now Russ.
The guy must bereallyinto JJ, because he reserved us a table outside on the patio that looks out to the sea. I drop JJ a text letting him know how good our table is to score the guy some brownie points, since he’sclearlygoing all out to impress.
I know that I need to talk to Anastasia about how I’ve acted recently, but I’m not quite sure how to bring it up. I let our orders be taken, and she fills the silence with funny stories about Brin and one of her lectures where everything went wrong. But eventually, she gives me a sympathetic smile, one that says she knows what’s going on in my head. “Nate, are you okay?”
The time apart has felt a bit like a breakup, even though it wasn’t, and we’ve still talked, but it’s cemented for me that breaking up is not a reality I ever want to live. I know it’s rare to meet someone who makes you feel like your whole life is brighter. I know I’m lucky that I have someone by my side who would go to war for the people she loves, and it’s made me realize, right now, she’s going to war for herself.
