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Fen only waited. She was there but didn't know for how long, so she got to the point. "Why did you convince him to abandon me?"
"I didn't convince him of anything, child. He chose to walk away. I chose to stay."
"Speak plainly. I don't have time for riddles," Fen said with a growl.
"Ah, so there is a little wolf in you after all. How very interesting." Freya laughed, like the idea pleased her. "Oh, very well. I can't reveal the details of the bet, but I can tell you it was to see if you would do better on your own without Havi's assistance. He has watched you since your magic flourished and made sure he was the god you paid the most homage to."
"Because I'm Loki's bastard?"
"Of course." Freya's gaze sobered. "There was a time when Havi thought it best to kill you off. We convinced him that it was a foolish idea, that you hadn't done anything to deserve it. He believed that left to your own devices, the trouble in your blood would get out of control, and you would become a force of chaos."
Fen finally sank to a couch, her knees giving way. "And you don't? That's why you made a bet with him and sent me to Aaru?"
"I sent you to Aaru because if you did become chaos without Havi's leash around your throat, I didn't want you on Midgard. Truthfully, I never believed you would go entirely feral. I told Havi that if given a chance, you would make the most of it, and when you returned, you would be wiser and stronger than ever."
Fen's hands were shaking, so she laced them together to hide it. "And what did the All-Father believe I would do?"
Freya's smile was coy. "That would be telling. You are doing well in the new land, are you not? Your dream walker lover seems to care—"
"You don't get to talk about him," Fen snapped, her overprotective instincts overruling her reason. "He pays no homage to you, so he isn't your concern."
Freya laughed, a joyful seductive sound. "I don't need to have a concern for him. Before I could even speak with him, his goddess pulled him from the dream."
"Inanna protects her own. It's more than I can say for you."
Freya's eyes glowed with magic, and she was in front of Fen in a blink, her hand gripping Fen's face. "Watch that tongue, little wolf. I protected you from Havi's blade, and I ensured that your precious Khan noticed that rune on your hand. I do what I can, but I cannot interfere in this game any more than Havi can."
"Why play it at all?" Fen said, refusing to back down. "What's in this for you?"
"I always repay my debts." Freya's blue eyes lost their glowing power, and she let Fen go. "And I believe you can show them all what a powerful woman is capable of. We have been leashed enough by the likes of Odin, don't you think? Don't you wonder what you'd be capable of if you just allowed yourself to let go?"
Fen asked the most important question burning on her tongue. "How can I trust you?"
"You don't need to trust me, little wolf. You need to trust your magic and your heart. The rest will take care of itself." Freya smiled then, full of warmth and affection. "I will see you again when it's done."
Freya's lips pressed against hers, and then the house and the goddess were gone.
Thirty-Eight
Fen's eyes blinked open, and she found Sargon smoking a hookah and watching her from the shadows.
"Where did you go, godling?" he asked.
"I saw the goddess," Fen replied, slowly sitting up.
"And did she give you any answers?"
"Not the ones I really want to know."
Sargon breathed out the fragrant smoke. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I need to think things through first." Fen climbed to her feet. "And I need Khan."
"Tell him not to bother to come and yell at me for making you journey," Sargon said with a small smile. "I'm here when you want to talk about it."
Fen's mind was a mess, and she still felt like she wasn't properly in her body. She stumbled back to her cabin and found Khan stepping out of the bathing room with a towel slung about his hips. Desire slapped her hard in the face, and she knew exactly what she needed.
"Fen? Are you okay? You look spooked," he said, reaching for her. Fen collided with him, her arms wrapping around his damp body. "What happened?"
