Page 84 of Never His Mate

Mentally? Emotionally?

Yeah, not quite.

My bare feet slap against the tile as I slip into the bathroom. I know my roommate is waiting for me, but I have to shower. First, though, I brace myself before peering in the mirror hanging over the bathroom sink.

A soft sigh of relief. Though my cheek still feels tight, there isn’t a single mark left on my face. No bruise from where Shane backhanded me, and no claw marks from where he ripped me open like a present.

Aleks can already sense that something’s up. If I walked out there looking like some other wolf’s chew toy, I don’t even want to think about how my overprotective vampire will react.

I take as quick a shower as I can, standing under the spray until my muscles relax and the water stops running pink with the washed-off blood. Then, knowing that Aleks is probably on his second cup of tea by now, I throw on a fresh outfit, toss my wet hair into a ponytail, and hope for the best.

I know that this isn’t going to end well when, as soon as I ease into the kitchen, Aleks is standing against the counter, an untouched mug sitting at his elbow. No steam, which means I took longer than I meant to, and his gorgeous face is pulled into a worried frown.

His pale green eyes light up when he sees me, though his brow furrows.

And then, as if on cue—

“You took off your necklace.”

It feels like a lifetime ago when I asked Audrey to take it for a second so I could see something.

I nod. “Yeah. I did.”

“An accident?” he asks hopefully.

“Not this time, Aleks.”

He exhales. A year after I met my first vamp, and it still startles me when he does that. Mainly because he doesn’t need to breathe so, when he makes the obvious gesture, there’s a reason behind it.

I brace myself.

I knew this was coming. Some part of me knew this would be coming from the moment I made the decision to go after Ryker during the full moon. One way or another, I made a choice. It’s time to own it.

“You’re not going to put it back on, are you?”

“Now that I know what it really means?” At his nod, I shake my head. “I can’t. I… you know that, right? It’s your way of claiming me as your mate. I could wear it when I thought you were protecting me—”

“I am protecting you, Gemma. The only way I know how. I can’t fight your battles for you.” Again, Aleks huffs. “Do you know what it does to me, seeing you walk in here wearing blood? Your blood? I want to use my fangs on anyone that would hurt you, but I know that would hurt you more.”

He isn’t wrong. Though vampires don’t have a hierarchy the same way that the packs do—there’s the Cadre and the vamps they rule, that’s it—Aleks has always sensed that, as a shifter, I was only comfortable hiding because it’s what I’ve always known. Not because I was scared. Not because I couldn’t protect myself. But because it was easier.

The more I let out my alpha side, the more I have to admit that Omega Gem is gone and buried. I don’t want a mate who will stand in front of me. I want one who will stand at my side, an equal.

Alpha, Beta, vamp… it never mattered to me what my mate was. Only who.

And, for the last eleven years, I’ve always known it was supposed to be Ryker Wolfson.

Regardless, no matter how much it hurts him to hear it, I have to tell Aleks the truth.

“I can’t wear your fang,” I try again, “because I’ll never be your mate.”

“Why? Because of that wolf?” Aleks pushes away from the counter, his Polish accent growing noticeably thicker as he lets his temper get the better of him. I don’t have to ask what wolf he means. In all the time I’ve known him, Ryker’s the only one who could ever get him that riled up. I used to think it was just another part of his protective side. Now? Now I know better. “I could make you so much happier than he could.”

True. I’m sure he could. I’ve been happy living with Aleks this past year, but only because he’s my friend. Even when he mentioned turning our relationship into something else, something more, I’ve always shut the subject down.

I don’t see him like that. After these last few days with Ryker, I don’t think I ever will.

“Aleks, I’m sorry.”

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