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Because I was a female alpha. And, if Aleks is right, not the second one ever, either.
I’m the third.
This is insane. I almost have whiplash from how fast our conversation has turned. All I wanted to do was make sure that Aleks wasn’t forgotten after the Alpha challenge, and now he’s dropping one hell of a bomb on me.
What’s worse: finding out that there were more female alphas in the past than the one I already knew about, or that—like so many other males in my life—Aleks was only drawn to me because of my rank.
But is that the only reason why?
When I saw you...
“Did I look like her? Julia, I mean?”
He shakes his head. “My Julia was dark while you’re fair. No. It wasn’t your looks that made me think you were her, but your wolf.”
“What about Elizabeth? She’s not an alpha.”
Aleks lets out a shaky exhale, all the more notable since—as one of the undead—he doesn’t actually have to breathe. “Except for the eyes, she could be my beloved’s twin.”
Okay. Welp, I wasn’t expecting that.
I could tell there was something sparking between them from the moment Aleks arrived in California. When she fell and Aleks’s roar shook the district, I was sure of it. There’s some kind of bond—but what kind?
Elizabeth is Luna-touched. She can break bonds. She can conceal a shifter’s scent. What else can she do?
How old is she?
“Could she be her? Elizabeth. Could she be your Julia?”
He shakes his head. “No. And if I’d been thinking more rationally when I met you, I would’ve realized the same thing. Neither of you could be Julia because she died long ago. Before we could even be mated, I lost her.”
“I… Aleks, I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
“You had no idea because I kept it from you. Przykro mi. I’m the one who should be sorry. And I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m telling you this.” He waves his hand, gesturing around the inner workings of the jailhouse. “Especially here.”
A small chuckle escapes me. “The thought did cross my mind.”
“It’s because I really do love you, Gem. I don’t want you to think I only cared because I could tell you were a female alpha like my beloved was. That’s not true. It might’ve been why I stopped Gretchen and the others from attacking, but that’s not what made me love you. If you’d chosen me, I would’ve been the best mate for you.”
Oof. And I thought I was uncomfortable before.
“Forget about that.” Seriously. I love Aleks, too, but as a friend. If that’s what his feelings for me can become, I’ll be happy as hell. “I have a mate. Maybe this is your chance to get yours back.”
“I don’t know—”
“What about Elizabeth? Does she know any of this?” I answer my own question the second I ask it. “No. Walker would’ve never let you close enough to talk to her. But what about now? Are you going to tell her?”
He hesitates for a moment. “I don’t know. But, whatever I do, it’s going to have to wait.”
“Why?”
With a set to his jaw that gives a hard edge to his supernatural beauty, Aleks says, “The last time I lost my beloved, I single-handedly started a decades-long Claws and Fangs war. Walker was already preparing for another one. I won’t be the reason war breaks out among our people again, even if it means I have to stay away from her.”
He reaches out, cupping my cheek in his hand. His palm feels unnaturally warm, the flesh still bubbled from where the silver destroyed it. Give him some blood and he’ll be back to normal, but for now, he’s still dealing with the aftereffects of his time in the Wolf District.
Aren’t we freaking all?
Tipping my head back, he meets my gaze. “I lost Julia to an Alpha who had preferred to see her dead than be bonded to a vampire. Two hundred years later, I had to watch as another of my enemy stole you away from me. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to love again. Not now. Not ever.” He caresses my cheek to my chin, then drops his hand. “I’m content to be your friend. If fortune favors me, maybe I can be hers one day.”
