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“We tend to leave her deal with mom and dad while I distance myself and you play the victim part. It’s not exactly fair.”
???
Sylvia and Richard Hartley looked at me with suspicion. For a moment I thought they knew about London, but I dismissed that theory fast. If they knew I hadn’t submitted one single college application, they wouldn’t just look funny at me. It would be just like Hannah said. Insane.
We were all sitting around the table in mom’s new apartment. She made the effort to cook for us. Something she stopped doing altogether when Tyler moved out. She said it wasn’t worth the hassle for only two people. It seemed easier to me. To cook for two, instead of five.
My stomach was empty. Everyone was munching something, but I couldn’t eat. I hadn’t had a proper meal for days. I was poking the food in my plate thinking about what Tyler said about Madison. Did she really take more shit from mom and dad while the two of us played roles that helped us skip a thing or two?
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that yes, she did that. For years. Probably from the moment we were born. I just couldn’t remember that far back. But I remembered all the hairdos, how she picked me up from school when I was little. She was playing the role of a mother to me. And I used her to fulfill my parents’ dreams of a perfect daughter while I had the luxury to be the rebel. I had that luxury because of Madison.
Dad cleared his throat.
“Well, kiddos. You’re probably wondering why we’re all here,” he sighed. “I’m glad we’re. That fire could have really changed our family forever. Your mother and I want to make some changes. To start a healing process in some sort. We want our family to be a safe environment for you to share everything that concerns you.”
“If there is anything,” Sylvia looked at us one by one, “Anything any of you wants to share with us, we’re here.”
I snorted deliberately. I wanted her to know I wasn’t buying it. Dad laughed nervously.
“Well, Sylvia, maybe they need more time. It’s not like a light switch.”
“Do you want to start, Clementine?” she ignored dad.
I got used to my name while I was living with the Coles. But from my mother’s mouth, it irritated me all over again.
“No, but we know you’re going to try to make me.”
“No one is making you do anything, sweetie,” dad supplied.
“Bullshit. Mom told me aboutyourdecision. You want me to stay in California.”
Dad looked at Sylvia with an accusatory look.
“We’re open to suggestions…”
“That’s not what we agreed on,” mom cut him off. “You’re doing it again. Giving her what she wants. Trying to be the good guy while I end up being the bitch.”
“I don’t think that forcing her would do her any good…”
They started fighting while the rest of us listened. I looked at Madison. Her eyes were pinned on me.
“She’s not ready to live on her own,” mom said with a tone that suggested she wasn’t taking any objections. “In fact, I think I should move back in. She’s just a child. An angry child. Do I have to explain to you how this is a bad combination? Do you want her to run away with someone covered in tattoos, driving a motorcycle?”
“That’s more likely if I live with you,” I grinned at her.
Madison laughed grimly. Everyone turned their gazes to her.
“Clem is not the innocent child you make her out to be,” she said looking straight into my eyes. “Just admit it, Clem,” she was challenging me. “You kept your mouth shut on purpose.” No one was talking, not even me. “You saw the possibility to play the victim and you took it. Like you always do.” She leaned forward and looked me straight in the eyes. “I give you one chance to say it yourself.”
“Say what?” I yelled at her.
“That you hid mom was an alcoholic on purpose. It wasn’t because you were a child or didn’t know what to do. You took pleasure in her misery. Just be an adult and say it. If it wasn’t for the fire, you would have never told anything.”
I thought I would feel ashamed if it ever came to the point to confess that, but I felt strangely unaffected.
“Yes! I would have done exactly that,” I hissed. “What about you? You talk with her on the phone every fucking day. I bet you sensed there was something.”
“Of course I did. But I thought she was just unhappy. How could I know she was drinking herself to sleep every night?”
