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CHAPTER 26
Isabella
Jimmy had just said everything I’d ever wanted him to say. And as soon as he had, I knew I had to end this, whatever this was.
The guilt I’d felt before about keeping my diagnosis to myself was tremendous…and that was before there were even any feelings involved, at least on his part. My feelings had been involved since the harbormaster had pointed in his direction. I’d looked over at him, and he’d smiled.
That was it. In that moment, I was gone.
But my feelings weren’t my concern. His were. And now I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this was never going to work. I might be living my life doing what I wanted when I wanted, but I’d never allow my actions to hurt someone.
My head was shaking no before I opened my mouth. “I’m sorry. I can’t.”
“Why? Why not?”
“Because, I’m just…I’m not looking for anything serious.”
“I didn’t say serious.”
How could I make him understand? I opened my mouth before I found the right words, but when I couldn’t, nothing came out.
“I’m sorry.” Jimmy apologized. “I shouldn’t have said anything. Just forget it.”
“I can’t.” Now that I knew he was thinking of this as more than casual, I couldn’t unknow that. “I’m sorry.”
I turned and walked as fast as my feet could carry me. The boarding house was only a block away and I wanted nothing more than to get there as quickly as humanly possible. I didn’t look back to see if Jimmy was following me, if he’d left, or if he still stood in the same place.
I kept my head down, not making eye contact with anyone as emotion clogged my throat. I sniffed back the moisture that was pooling in my lower lids and prayed no one would stop me as I hurried past people casually walking along the path, rushed up the stairs, into the house, and then my room.
When the door shut, I leaned against it, wiping the tears that were sliding down my cheeks.
Suck it up, I told myself.
I was not going to have a pity party. There was no way I was going to waste one second of the time I had left being sad. If anything, I should be happy. The boy—or man, actually—who I liked, not only liked me back, but he wanted to keep seeing me. He wanted to be my boyfriend.
A man who’d never had a relationship wanted to be my boyfriend. There was something really romantic, really special about that.
I looked down at the list in my hand and my eyes snapped to number one.
1. Get a boyfriend
I was pretty sure I was going to have to revise the list because I knew now that it would be impossible to complete that item. If I cared about someone, there was no way that I was going to be with them. How selfish would that be?
A knock sounded at my door and my heart jumped in my chest.
He was here.
Jimmy came back.
Maybe I couldn’t be with him long term, but that didn’t mean that we couldn’t have a night together. One more night. Just…one more perfect night.
I opened the door ready to present Jimmy with a very indecent proposal, but I didn’t get the chance to offer it.
Mrs. B stood in the doorway.
My expression slipped but I did my level best to hide my disappointment. I pasted a smile on my face. “Hi.”
“Not who you were expecting, hon?”
